Page 73 of Eryx
Paris could’ve refused to marry, but in doing so he would’ve brought dishonor to his name. Military was valued above all, and failure to meet expectations resulted in a tarnished reputation and the loss of any respect earned. Only cowards and slaves were treated worse.
We sat in silence as the sun rose above the mountain. And for the first time in my life, I wished Axios and I had been born far away from here. The thought of losing him filled my veins with ice. The thought of his lips on another, of someone else enjoying his body, turned the ice to fire.
Galen pulled himself to his feet. I stood as well and faced him. Words failed me in that moment. Nothing I said would take the pain from his heart, just as nothing would take it from mine.
“This is why love is for the weak,” he said, punching the column. His fist cracked against it, splitting open his knuckles. He hit it again and again. Blood ran between his fingers and dripped to the grass as he finally dropped his hand to his side. “Cast yours aside while you still can, Eryx. Because when it’s taken from you… and itwillbe taken… it feels as though your heart has been ripped from your chest.”
With his words coursing through my head, I returned to the barracks. The men in my group had woken and were dressing for the day. Some had already left for morning meal. I entered the room and paid little attention to those around me.
Axios lived in an imaginary world sometimes. He believed with all his might that we could live happily together. I had once believed the same. Then I’d seen the devastation in Galen’s eyes. He hadn’t been prepared to lose Paris.
“Meet you in the dining hall?” Haden asked, clapping my shoulder.
I nodded, showing no sign of my grief. He smiled and went over to Quill, picking up the smaller boy and carrying him out the door.
Quill squealed and slapped at Haden’s back, calling him a dimwitted oaf.
I turned away from them and faced the wall, trying to compose myself. I changed into a pair of bottoms, forgoing a tunic. The breeches cut off at my upper thighs and curved around my backside, allowing for easy movements instead of restricting them.
Someone approached me from behind, their steps familiar to my ears. My body tingled at his proximity, my body reacting to Axios without me even having to see him. And then a kiss was placed at my nape.
I stopped moving and leaned my head back to rest it against his. “How is your sister?”
I felt him smile against my skin. “She is well.” His arms came around my waist. “If I am not mistaken, she seemed almost eager to meet Haden. Perhaps she is fonder of him than I presumed.”
Just as I had thought. She had only wished for Haden to chase her for a while. Leanna felt like a sister to me even though we shared no blood relation. I wished for her to be happy.
Axios glided his hands up my abdomen, running them over my ribs. “But I do not wish to speak of my sister in this moment.”
When his hands sunk lower, I grabbed his wrists to stop him.
“I must go,” I said. As much as I’d enjoy lying with him, my mind was too distracted that morning.
Axios drew away and stepped back. I already missed the feel of him against me. It was a feeling I suspected I’d need to become familiarized with—missing him. I turned to face him, hating the flash of uncertainty in his eyes.
“Ery… why do you refuse me?” he asked. “Have I wronged you?”
“You have done nothing, and I do not reject you.” I shook my head. “My mind is elsewhere. On training. I must leave to meet the boys.”
It was the first lie I’d ever told him. He searched my face, seeing straight through my falsehood. I could fool anyone. But not him.
I walked forward, intending to leave before I said something I’d later regret. He slapped a hand to my chest to stop me.
“Why are you untruthful, Eryx? We keep nothing from each other.”
I stared at his hand before lifting my gaze to his face. No other moment in my life had ever pained me as much as that one. Because I knew what he’d force me to say… the truth.
How could I voice my worries without breaking his heart?
“There are times when a lie is more forgiving than a truth, Axios.”
“And what is this truth you are keeping me from?” he asked, still resting his hand on my chest. “Do not think you can spare my pain by keeping me oblivious. All things come to light with time, and it will only result in fueling my rage, having been blinded to it for so long.”
His confusion morphed into something darker. He stared at me then with accusing eyes. His thoughts were written so clearly on his face. He believed I had been unfaithful to him.
I closed the gap between us and grabbed his chin in a tight hold, forcing him to meet my gaze. “I wouldneverbetray you.”
I’d rather die.
