Page 35 of Hensley Manor
“I don’t have a piano at home.” Which was true.
After the accident, I was forced to sell my parent’s house. I hadn’t wanted to, but I hadn’t been able to afford living there. It was either sell or have the bank take it. I’d been able to keep some of their smaller possessions, but the rest either went to my aunt or was sold. Fortunately, my aunt had taken Mom’s piano.
However, I hadn’t seen my aunt in years. It was too painful.
“Get everything taken care of in town?” I asked, standing from the bench and closing the lid.
“Yes. All looks well. You ready for lunch?”
“I’m always ready for food.”
Ian snorted and rested his hand at my lower back, guiding me out of the room.
We ate turkey sandwiches for lunch and prepped things in the kitchen afterward for the activity that evening. The table held a crap load of ingredients for the cookies and a stack of aprons on the edge of it. The kitchen was big, but not big enough for everyone to fit, so a table had been set up outside the kitchen as well.
The guests entered the room as the event started. And for once, the smiles, laughter, and holiday spirit didn’t upset me. Because I was part of it.
Ian turned the radio to a Christmas station, and we made cookies as the holiday music played in the background. We made the dough, rolled it out, and used cookie cutters in the shapes of Santa, stockings, and candy canes. There were a lot of laughs as people accidentally spilled flour, and some intentionally tossed it at others.
One of those people being me to Ian.
He chuckled and flicked flour at me in retaliation. I coughed and rubbed at my face, half-choking, half-laughing. I hadn’t had this much fun in a long time.
Once the cookies were in the oven, everyone helped clean up a little, putting away ingredients we no longer needed and cleaning the spilled flour. The first batch came out, and after they cooled, we frosted them.
Ian handed me a Santa-shaped cookie covered in vanilla frosting and sprinkles. “Is that a good enough cookie to frosting ratio?”
I snatched it from him and bit off Santa’s head, sighing with contentment at the explosion of sweet in my mouth.
“I’ll take that as a yes?”
I nodded and took another bite.
He smiled and frosted another.
The guests each poured a glass of milk and piled cookies on several plates before going into the entertainment room. The massive flat screen TV hung on the wall, high enough to where everyone could see it. People sat close on the two long couches, and the ones who didn’t want to watch the movie went up to their rooms. I wasn’t looking forward to the movie, but Ian wanted to watch it, so I followed him into the room.
“Join me?” Ian asked, after plopping down in a plushy loveseat.
“Don’t need to ask me twice.”
Cuddling up to him in the small space would make the movie tolerable.
We watchedIt’s a Wonderful Life. I’d never seen it before. I expected to hate it just for the fact it was a Christmas movie. But…I actually liked it. The main character was depressed and thinking of ending it all by jumping off a bridge around Christmas. An angel intervened and showed the man all the good deeds he’d done in his life. Showed how much he had touched people’s lives. He had been so blinded by the negatives that he hadn’t seen his worth.
I couldn’t help but relate to George, the main character. I wasn’t proud about it, but there had been many times when I’d found myself in that same situation. Maybe not standing on the side of a bridge…but in that mindset of thinking it’d be easier if I wasn’t around. Instead of a bridge, it had been a handful of pills.
Lance was the only reason why that dark thought had never turned into something more. He had called me as I sat there on the edge of my bed, and I was thankful I’d decided to pick up. He came over, had a few drinks, and made me laugh for the first time in a while.
I missed him.
Not even halfway through the movie, Ian put his arm around me. His touch pulled me from my thoughts, and I snuggled in closer, resting my head against his. Occasionally, his lips pressed to my temple. And each time he kissed me, my stomach fluttered.
He not only made me feel wanted, but cherished, too. That’s something I’d never felt with a guy before. Being with Ian, in that moment, made me happy that I was alive.
Sometimes, life could feel so heavy. My problems crushed me and made it hard to breathe. Hard to do anything, really. It was in those moments—being with a friend or in the arms of a man I could totally see myself falling in love with—that helped put shit back into perceptive.
The bad stuff didn’t go away, but the good helped make it less crushing.
