Page 58 of The Ghost of Ellwood
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not! Look at what just happened! You fucking passed out, Ben. When’s the last time you had a proper meal? When was the last time you drank water? Slept for more than an hour? He’s killing you, whether you see it or not.”
A crash sounded from the hall.
I bolted toward the door and saw a tray on the floor, surrounded by water and shattered glass. Within the shards of glass was also a bagel with cream cheese. My heart dropped into my stomach.
“Theo?” I asked, stepping over the tray and sweeping a gaze around the stairwell.
Carter appeared behind me, his eyes locked on the mess in the hall. I could tell he felt ashamed. As he should.
“I hope you’re happy,” I said through gritted teeth before going down the stairs to find Theo.
I knew exactly where to look.
Approaching the entrance to the greenhouse, I took a breath as I reached the closed door and pushed it open. The smell of earth and rain hit me, and the taps on the overhead glass sounded even louder than they should. It had been sunny earlier. The clouds had come in without warning, much like the ones in my head.
Theo stood by his flowers, holding a rose to his nose. Tears streamed down his pale cheeks.
“Hi,” I said, stopping a few feet away.
Thunder rumbled in the distance. Theo turned his head away from me and his body faded in and out.
“Carter’s wrong,” I said, aching to pull him into my arms but knowing he’d push me away if I tried. “I’m sorry you had to hear him say that.”
“He thinks I’m killing you.” Even his voice was distorted, sounding as if he was speaking through old, faulty speakers. “You were sick because of me.”
“No, it was because ofme.I don’t handle stress well. I’m worried about my career, stressed about my book, and anxious about tomorrow. I think I’m also a bit sleep deprived. I guess it triggered a migraine. I haven’t had one in months, but they aren’t uncommon for me. None of it is your fault.”
“You should listen to him, Ben.” Theo faced me, and in that moment, he truly did look more ghost than human. “He can give you what I can’t.”
“Bullshit!” I charged forward. “I’m tired of everyone saying what’s good and bad for me. How do you know what I want?”
Theo laughed. “Do you wantthis? To be stuck here in my prison with me?”
“What if I do?”
“Then you’re a damn fool, Benjamin Cross.”
A streak of lightning lit up the sky, and when the light dimmed again, Theo was gone.
Anger boiled in my chest. It was irrational to feel this strongly for him, but Theo had burrowed his way into my life. Into my heart. And I couldn’t stop it.
Yelling, I grabbed one of the empty racks and threw it across the room. Then I knocked over one of the tables. Even when pissed, I didn’t touch Theo’s plants. I would never forgive myself for taking away his one speck of joy in life. Tears fell from my eyes as I eyed the roses. Beautiful and delicate. I remembered Theo resting his head on my shoulder. Remembered his smell as I pressed my face into his hair. Lightning cracked like a whip, the sound ricocheting in my aching head.
I exited the greenhouse and slammed the door once back inside the manor.
Carter stood in the kitchen, hands in his hoodie pocket.
“What do you want?” I snapped.
He flinched. “Just wanted to say I’m sorry. I care about you, and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m fucking hurt already. My emotions are being put through the grinder, and the two people I care about most are making my life more complicated by telling me what I should and shouldn’t do like I’m a damn child.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, tears filling his eyes. “I understand if you don’t want me to come to your signing tomorrow.”
The energy drained from me in a single breath, and I sunk down into a chair at the table. “Everything’s so fucked up, Carter.”
