Page 53 of The Ghost of Ellwood
I was in no mood to argue with him. The headache was worsening, and I knew it would take a turn for the worse if I wasn’t careful. I finished shaving and washed my face before studying my short blond hair. There wasn’t much that could be done with it, other than using some gel to spike up the front a little.
“You look handsome, Ben.”
Turning, I leaned against the sink and smiled at him. “Thanks. I should tell you my ex-boyfriend is coming with Shane. If I seem out of sorts, that’s probably why.”
“I see.” Theo grabbed a hand towel and walked over, dabbing it beside my ear where I’d missed some of the shaving cream. I liked having him so close, and it took all my willpower not to put my arms around him. “Do you wish to impress him? To win him back?”
“Hell no. Shane can have him. But I want to look nice.”
“Believe me.” He dropped the towel on the counter and placed his hand on my hip. “You do.”
It was the first time Theo had touched me since the day in my bedroom. I was too nervous to make any sudden moves that would scare him away. Because goddammit it, his touch, though cold, made me feel like I’d come home.
“Theo…” I slid my hand to his nape. “I know you said it couldn’t work, but—”
“It can’t.” He released me.
“But what if it can?” I pressed, walking toward him as he stepped away. “It wouldn’t be normal by any means, but who the fuck cares? I don’t. All I know is I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life.”
“What exactly are you asking for?” Theo asked, his dark eyes pinned on me. “Do you wish to kiss me? Fuck me? What?”
“All of it,” I answered. The time with him had awoken a desire within me I couldn’t ignore. I wanted Theo in any way he’d have me. “I know you feel it too.”
“It doesn’t matter what I feel.” His jaw clenched.
“Itdoesmatter, dammit.” My gaze flitted from him and to the shower he stood beside. “You’re the one who started this, by the way. Iknowyou were in the shower with me that night.”
Theo gaped. “Which night?”
“Oh, you know the one I’m talking about, Theodore Michael Blackwell.” I strode forward, my gait slow and steady. A cocky smile curved my lips. “When I jerked off in the shower, you were behind me, kissing my neck and bracing your hand on the door. I saw your handprint.”
“I beg your pardon,” Theo exclaimed, mortified. His pale cheeks appeared to gain some color too, even though it should’ve been impossible for ghosts to blush. “I wouldn’t… I didn’t…”
My smile widened. “Admit it.”
“Very well.” He snarled and crossed his arms, seeming more like a nineteen year old than the hundred year old spirit he actually was. “It was a moment of weakness, Ben. You are stunning, and I couldn’t resist.”
“I don’twantyou to resist.”
“However, Imust.I can’t give you my heart, Ben Cross.” A tormented look pierced his gaze. “I feel strongly for you, but…”
My skin heated.
Theo still being in love with Harvey hadn’t even crossed my mind. And I felt stupid for not having seen it sooner.
“Oh.” I felt like he’d just pricked a hole in my heart. “I didn’t realize you weren’t over Harvey.”
That’s why he kept me at arm’s length, why he’d kept his distance for so long.
“Iamover him. It’s been a hundred years and I miss him dearly, but I’m able to remember the good times with him instead of mourning what we lost. I remember so much about him.” Theo hung his head and rubbed the back of his neck. His eyes glistened. “But I’ve forgotten the way his skin smelled in the morning and the sound of his laugh. I’ve forgotten the feel of his lips. Sometimes, I can’t even remember his voice. But I’ll always love him. Time hasn’t changed that.”
“The heart is capable of loving more than one person,” I said, even though mine felt like it was dying right then. “I’m not asking you to love me, Theo, only for you to give me a chance. Whatever happens will happen. I just want this distance between us to end. I hate it.”
“Don’t you see, Ben?” His body flickered in and out. “If I agree, and we become closer than we are, it will only end in despair. Surrendering to my feelings for you gives you the power to hurt me.”
“What makes you think I wouldeverhurt you?”
“Listen to yourself.” Theo blinked out of sight before reappearing in front of me. His pale skin looked more translucent. “I can’t leave this property, or did you forget? I can’t take you on dates to the cinema; we can’t have dinner in a nice restaurant. Christ, Ben, I can’t even go to your book signing, and I would give anything to be able to go. Instead, Carter will be there by your side, while I’m stuck here!”
