Page 49 of Royal
Ah. So Brysen was sizing me up.
“You’re a detective?” Brysen asked, stopping in front of me and putting his hands on his small hips. “Like with a gun, badge, and everything?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay then, Sherlock,” he said. “Listen here.”
Royal groaned.
“Shh, you,” Brysen told him before moving his amber eyes back to me. For a little dude, he had a big set of balls. Very few men, even ones much bigger than him, were ever so bold. “That’s my man right there. My bestie. My brother from another mother. You break his heart, I’ll break your face. Got it?”
“For fuck’s sake, Brysen,” Royal interjected, his face bright pink. “Gray and I are just friends.”
I wasn’t offended, though. It made me happy to know Brysen cared for Royal. He needed friends like that in his life. Hell, I used to be one of them. Once upon a time, I would’ve kicked anyone’s ass just for looking at Royal the wrong way.
Little did Brysen know thatIwas the one in danger of being hurt. The way Royal had used me for sex still stung.
“Understood,” I responded, holding out my hand.
Brysen smiled a toothy grin before giving it a firm shake.
“Are you done now?” Royal asked, still embarrassed.
“Yep.” Brysen threw himself on the couch. “Let’s start up the Xbox.”
I wasn’t much of a gamer, but it was fun watching them play. Royal might’ve hated conflict in real life, but his competitive side came out when gaming. He ran his mouth, shit-talking Brysen, and Brysen returned the banter. Watching them go at each other was a lot more entertaining than watching them kill zombies.
They took a break when the food arrived, and we moved to the kitchen table to eat.
As we talked and stuffed our faces, I nearly forgot about how crazy life was at the moment. I didn’t think about the serial killer. I didn’t wonder if he was still in town. For the first time in forever, I didn’t feel like a machine that just woke up, went to work, and came home. Repeat.
I felt…normal almost. As normal as I could be.
“Are you dating anyone?” Brysen asked me before shoveling beef and broccoli into his mouth.
Royal’s gaze settled on me before he quickly looked away. There it was again. The guilt. It was why I didn’t feel the need to hound him about fucking me and treating me badly afterward. He knew he’d been in the wrong.
“No, I’m not.” I moved a carrot from my fried rice around with my fork, feeling sort of awkward.
“Why?” Brysen looked between me and Royal before sitting farther back in his chair and grinning, too mischievous for his own good.
“Work takes up too much time right now” Sure, it was mostly true. But the real reason was the gorgeous, dark haired hottie sitting across from me. No one compared to him. Not by a long shot.
“You know, you were a dumbass for thinking Royal was the killer.” Brysen went back to eating his large portion of food, going between several takeout containers, munching on an eggroll before taking a bite of broccoli.
“I know.” I looked at Royal, who seemed to be looking at anything and everything except for me. And when his eyes finally drifted to me, my throat tightened. “I’ve done a ton of dumb shit I wish I could take back.”
So much would’ve been different if I hadn’t ended things with Royal. We probably would’ve been married and living in that house by the lake he often dreamed of. Jonathon would’ve still been alive. And the pain in Royal’s gaze that I’d grown used to seeing over the past few weeks would’ve been gone, replaced by happiness instead.
“You can’t change the past.” Royal grabbed his empty container of food and tossed it in the trash. “But you can make better choices and control what happens now.”
Brysen left around seven so he could go home and nap before work later that night. By the sound of it, the guy got less sleep than me, andthatwas saying something.
“Did you mean what you said earlier?” I asked, walking up behind Royal as he rinsed off dishes at the sink. For dinner, he’d cooked spaghetti. I’d still been somewhat full from the Chinese, but he’d mostly made it for Brysen, who seemed to never stop eating. “About being able to control what happens now?”
“I did.” Royal placed the last plate on the wrack before adding soap and starting the dishwasher. He then turned to me with a thoughtful expression. “If you constantly beat yourself up about shit you did in the past, you can’t ever move on from it. So, live and learn. Make tomorrow better than today.”
“And what about forgiving?” I asked, stepping closer. He leaned against the counter, his eyes locked on mine and his lips parted. “Can you forgive someone for completely fucking you over?”
