Page 87 of Declan
Gideon stayed to eat with me even though he didn’t seem to be that hungry. Knowing him, he was just sticking around for a bit to make sure I was okay.
Later that night, I sat on my balcony drinking a beer. Gideon had left, and I’d almost crawled back into bed. However, being out of my room was improving my mood. The beer probably helped, too.
I bounced my leg and looked at my phone. Wondering if Kyler had posted anything. I had no right to keep tabs on him. I knew that. But it was hard to stay away.
“Fuck it.”
I opened Twitter and went to his page.
He’d posted pictures of him at the club, hanging all over a group of guys. They all looked wasted or at least halfway there.
The top of my skull tingled, as did the tips of my ears, and my hands shook. I was completely shattered by not being with him—not able to leave my house and not having an appetite for days—and he was perfectly fine being with all kinds of guys at some stupid club.
I had no right to be mad. We weren’t together. Yet, it wounded me nonetheless. Before I could convince myself that it was a horrible idea, I exited his social media, pulled up my contacts, and sent him a text.
Me:What the fuck are you doing?
The dots started moving instantly, signaling he was typing.
Freckles:Huh????
Me:The pics you posted. You’re at Raw??
Freckles:What’s it matter to u?
A tic started in my jaw and my fingers hovered over the screen. Before I could think of a response, I got another text.
Freckles:R u jealous? Hahaha wtf. Ur the one who let ME go.
That did it. As irrational as it was, I couldn’t stop my attitude.
Me:So you’re already whoring around? Wow. Good to know.
Freckles:What the hell do u want from me, Declan? U can’t break my fucking heart and then come back into my life right when I’m starting to get over u.
My own heart cracked while reading his text.
Our goodbye had been damn hard, but having it laid out like that made me feel even more like shit than I already did. No matter how much I felt for Kyler, I couldn’t do this to him.
Me:I’m sorry. Forget I said anything. Have a good night, Kyler.
After hitting send, I flung my phone away from me and finished my beer.
My throat tightened as I imagined some other guy running his hands down Kyler’s sides and kissing his neck. A neck I’d loved to kiss. My gut coiled as I wondered if Kyler was making out with someone right then.
Would he crinkle his nose and smile as he pulled from the kiss? Like he did with me?
Would he softly sigh and bury his face against the guy’s neck?
I stood from the balcony chair and stormed back into the house, heading for the fridge for another beer. I needed something stronger, though, and so I grabbed the bottle of vodka from the freezer and mixed it with some Sprite.
Throwing back drink after drink, I blocked everything else out.
I just wanted to forget for a while.
