Page 82 of Declan
There was no changing his mind. No matter how much I begged and pleaded, no matter how much I told him I loved him or that he could take his time coming out, he was closed off from me.
He’d made his decision.
“Maybe one day you’ll realize what you’re giving up by hiding who you are,” I said, wiping at my eyes. “You deserve to be happy, Declan. And even though it’s not with me, I hope you find the love you’re looking for.”
As I passed him and walked back out into the terminal, I felt like I’d left my heart with him. I never learned my damn lesson. Always falling for guys who were unattainable.
“Hey, kid.” Gideon stood against the wall outside the bathroom and placed a hand on my arm. “You take care of yourself.”
“I will,” I said, meeting the large blond’s gaze. It took every ounce of strength I had to hold back my tears. “You take care of him, okay?”
Gideon looked as though he wanted to say something, but he only nodded.
The time with Declan was at its end, and I needed to move on with my life. But how could I move on when so much of me was still with him?
After I boarded the plane and got situated in my seat, I stared out the window.
The feel of Declan’s lips was ingrained in my memory, and I lifted a finger to my mouth. Remembering. I thought I might cry again, but the tears couldn’t be found.
I just felt numb to it all.
***
“Fuck him,” Royal said. “To paraphrase the great Taylor Swift, I knew that asshole was trouble right when I saw him.”
“Oh god,” Brysen said. “Don’t try to be cool, Royal. You’re too old.”
Only my friends could make me laugh when I felt this low.
I’d returned from Greece about a week ago and had fallen into a major depressive slump. For the first few days, Brysen had tried cheering me up. But when I hadn’t eaten much of anything and hadn’t been as talkative as he wanted me to be, he’d called for backup—aka Royal.
The two of them were sitting with me in my bedroom, Brysen beside me on the bed and Royal in my computer chair, and doing their best to lift my spirits.
“Come on, Kye.” Brysen laid his head on my shoulder, his blond curls tickling my cheek. “I hate seein’ you like this.”
“I love him,” I said, closing my eyes as tears welled in them.
“He’s too much of a damn coward to love you back,” Royal spat, rolling the chair closer.
“He’s not a coward.” I sat up and scrubbed a hand over my face. “He didn’t have a good upbringing, and it kinda messed him up. It’s not his fault.”
“Bullshit,” Royal countered. He lifted his favoriteKC Raptorsball cap off his head and put it on backwards. “A man’s past helps form the foundation for who he becomes, but his choices after that are what build him higher. You’re never defined by the past, but rather who you choose to be in the present.”
“When did you turn into a fortune cookie?” Brysen asked him.
“Bite me.”
I scooted down on the bed and faced the wall. I’d slept more in the past five days than I ever had, and I wasstilltired.
“Oh no you don’t.” Brysen pounced on me. I grunted as his twink body slammed against my back. “I refuse to let you spend one more goddamn day sulking in bed. You’re gonna get your ass up and come out with us.”
I eyed him over my shoulder. “I don’t want to—”
“He’s right,” Royal chimed in. “You need to get out of this room. When was the last time you showered, K?”
“He does smell ripe, doesn’t he?” Brysen added.
“Okay!” I nudged Brysen off me and rolled off the bed. “I’m up.”
