32
Alek
I was dreaming. I had to be.
How else would I explain the way I hung over the battlefield without a body and invisible? I glided where I wanted to go, but I had no limbs. No heart. I didn’t even need to breathe. All I had was my mind, the thoughts that kept me from floating into nothingness.
After the seer had forced the poison down my throat, I’d choked on my own blood. Ezra and another man had kept me upright, even long after I’d lost function of my legs. And then, I was looking down at my dead body.
Much like I was looking at the dead bodies below me now.
The temptation to let go was strong. If I accepted my death and ridded myself of my thoughts, I could probably move on.
But I didn’t want to.
My nymph needed me just as I needed him. We were two parts of the same whole, connected by fate.
Lorcan fought bravely. He kept an eye on his warriors, protecting them just as he protected himself. Gods, he was beautiful. In his armor, he looked the part of a warrior prince. His silver hair, the same shade as the moon, was streaked with red. Many fell to his blade. And while I was pleased to see he was unharmed and holding his own in battle, I hated the emptiness in his green eyes.
With each death blow he dealt, it seemed as if another piece of the man I loved chipped away.
Do not lose yourself,I tried to tell him.
Lorcan suddenly looked around, as if he’d heard me. Or felt me. However, then his eyes drifted to Haman. His face paled, and he stumbled.
Don’t go to him, sweet prince.
“A-Alek?” he asked with disbelief. He found his balance and shoved his way through the crowd of bloody bodies separating him from Haman. “Alek!”
He’s not me!
But I had no voice.
Seeingmybody being controlled by someone else was difficult to process.
Ezra hung on Haman’s arm, clearly taunting Lorcan, and when they kissed I screamed for Lorcan to look at me. I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t really me, that I’d never allow another mouth to touch mine. Where I expected to see betrayal in his green eyes, I didn’t.
Lorcan glared at the two men in front of him.
He knows it isn’t me.
“He wanted a family with you. To have a son with silver hair and pointed ears,” Haman said to Lorcan. “He never told you, did he?”
I would’ve wept right then if it were possible.
I’d kept my desire for a family from Lorcan because of my destiny to become the king of the dark mages. I’d been waiting until the danger had passed before telling him. Before letting myself think more on it.
I couldn’t stop myself from thinking on it now.
I would’ve asked Eva to carry our child, and if she’d agreed, we would’ve figured out how to make it happen. The idea of Lorcan bedding her was much too painful to consider, but with my magic combined with hers, I was certain there was a way to do it without actual sex.
It doesn’t matter anymore. That’s a future I’ll never have.
“Enough!” Lorcan shouted as he drew his dagger and dove forward.
I was helpless as I watched the scene unfold. Haman had my nymph in a frozen state, using the very power I’d used on other men.
How I’d detested the impulse to lash out and surrender to the dark. It’d been an intense urge I’d had to fight against every day. Every moment. Haman used it with ease.