Page 58 of Cheater and the Saint
And the one who’d inevitably break my heart if I let him.
“Oh,” Leo said before pursing his lips. “I see.”
“And that right there… you looking likethat… is exactly why I acted the way I did.” I pushed the top of my hair back to get my bangs out of my face. I’d fixed it that morning just as I always did, but it was longer now and too heavy to stay in place the way I wanted it to. “It was a mistake that won’t happen again.”
Leo’s brown eyes focused on me. “You know, having sex with you Friday was the first time I’d fucked anyone in almost a month.” I gaped at the revelation, and my stomach did a little flip. “Every time I tried, all I could think about was you. I don’t know what it is about you, Saint, but I can’t get enough. Fuck if I understand it, but it is what it is.”
“What are you saying?”
I wasn’t stupid enough to get my hopes up.
“I’m saying that I like you, Frosty,” he answered before the corner of his mouth lifted. He might’ve been smirking, but his eyes were troubled, as if he was struggling with that fact. “And I’ve gone a month without fucking someone else, although, plenty of people have thrown themselves at me. That counts for something, right?”
Okay, Iwasstupid enough, because hope spread through me anyway, and my stomach got all fluttery.
“I’m still not following, Leo.”
He sighed and closed his eyes, dropping his head back on the couch. “Are you sure you’re a psych major? Because you fucking suck at reading people.” He peeked over at me, looking so damn adorable that I knew I was screwed. “I want you, Saint. I’ve never felt like this before, and yeah, it’s a little fucking scary, but my gut’s telling me that if I let you go, I’ll regret it.”
“Like… you want to be my boyfriend?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, looking just as lost as he sounded. “But Idoknow that I don’t want to be one of those damn annoying guys that people yell at in movies. You know, the ones that if they just opened their fucking mouths and communicated better, all the drama would’ve been avoided.”
I laughed. “I know what you mean.”
“You’d be one people yelled at,” Leo said as his smile resurfaced. “You stubborn asshole.”
“Thanks for that. Truly.” I put a hand over my heart.
“You’re welcome,” he said with a wink.
I rolled my eyes and thought on my next words before I voiced them. Leo had admitted he wanted to be with me, but what if he changed his mind the next day? Or the day after that? And he hadn’t said he wanted a relationship, so what exactlydidhe want?
“I have an idea,” I said, wishing I had my fidget spinner. I tapped my fingers on my thigh instead. “I don’t want casual, and you’re not a relationship guy, so we’re at a bit of an impasse. I—”
“What’s an impasse?” he interjected, looking too cute with his furrowed brow and big puppy dog brown eyes.
“It’s like a deadlock,” I explained. “Basically when two people can’t agree, and there’s not a way to move forward.”
“Ah.” He nodded. “Okay, go on.”
“My idea is we make a sort of friends-with-benefits arrangement,” I said. His eyes widened a little, and he opened his mouth to say something before closing it again. I continued, “We fuck when we want, but we can hang out, too. No more of the silent treatment or the weirdness. Just sex and fun. My one condition is if you plan to fuck anyone else, youhaveto tell me first. No sneaking around or lying to me.”
“So, you’re giving me permission to cheat?” he asked, scratching at his jaw.
“It’s not cheating because we’re not together,” I explained. Yeah, I didn’twanthim to have sex with someone else, and my gut was already twisting at the thought of him doing so, but I had to face reality. He didn’t want to be tied down, but he was relentless in his pursuit of me. And I was weak in my resolve, wanting him anyway. “All I ask is for you to be honest with me about it. If you go out with Tayte or anyone else and plan to hookup, just send me a text first.”
“That’s a little awkward, don’t you think?” Leo asked. “Wouldn’t it upset you?”
“Me finding out after the fact would upset me more.”
It was probably a horrible idea, but it was the best I could come up with. Monogamy wasn’t his thing, so I knew if I would’ve asked for us to be exclusive, it wouldn’t have worked out. He would’ve jumped on some other guy or some girl, and I would’ve been heartbroken. At least this way, there was no betrayal.
I doubted it’d last past that semester, but it’d be one hell of a ride while it did.
My stomach rumbled, a reminder that I hadn’t eaten dinner yet, and I went into the kitchen. Leo followed. After I looked in the pantry and was unsuccessful in my search, I turned back around and came face to face with him.
“What are—?”
