Page 56 of Cheater and the Saint
“I’d love to,” I answered as I moved my gaze back to his face. Seeing his smile, I couldn’t help but mirror the expression. “Are you going to the library?”
He cocked his head, confused, before he looked at the building and nodded. “Oh! Yeah. I need to catch up on some of the other classes I missed Monday. I thought being in the library would help me stay focused. I tend to fidget and get distracted way too easily when I’m in my room.”
I almost offered to stay with him there at the library. To help him get caught up on work. It seemed like he was flirting with me, but I was horrible at picking up on when I was being flirted with. If he wasn’t flirting, no big deal.
But if hewasflirting with me… well, I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about it.
After telling him bye, I headed toward the student housing. The wind softly ruffled my hair, and I breathed it in, getting a whiff of smoke, leaves, and a smell that was uniquely fall. Some students walked quickly on the sidewalk, hauling an overstuffed backpack and looking slightly panicked as their feet moved as fast as possible without them breaking out into a jog. Others walked at a leisurely pace, like me, probably coming back from class instead of going toward one.
My sadness at the changing seasons had mostly passed, and I smiled a little as I headed home.
When I walked through the front door, Leo was sprawled out on the couch, his long legs hanging over the end and a laptop was on his chest. The smile slipped from my face. I wanted to go over, lay my body over his, and kiss him. To hear his sexy grunts and to see his bedroom eyes peer into mine.
“Hey,” I said, dropping my bag into a chair at the table.
Leo looked at me from the side of his laptop. “Hey. How was class? Did you learn a lot of psycho mumbo jumbo?”
My chest ached. God, I missed his goofy personality. And it hadn’t even been a week yet.
“We learned about selective attention,” I answered, walking to the fridge and grabbing a bottled water. “It’s the process of focusing on one thing while tuning out others.”
“Oh, like when I talk to you and you pretend you don’t hear?” Leo sounded bitter, and I couldn’t blame him a bit. “Am I understanding it right?”
“I don’t ignore you, Leo. I just…” I shook my head and rested my hands on the counter. How could I explain my shitty behavior toward him? Other than coming right out and saying it was because I was afraid of him hurting me. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah. Guess it doesn’t.” He went back to whatever he was working on.
I wanted to tell him how much I liked him, that I didn’t want him just for sex. I wished I could admit that I was only pushing him away in order to prevent myself from being hurt later when he cast me aside.
If, a voice corrected, but I disregarded it. Guys like Leo didn’t change. There was noifabout it.
So I said nothing and grabbed my backpack before going to my room.
Needing a distraction from the ache in my chest, I called Mom.
“Hey, pumpkin,” she answered on the third ring. “You doing okay?”
“Hey, Mom.” I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear her voice, and my eyes watered. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just finished with class for the day. How’re you?”
She told me about work, and how the store got a new shipment of fall clothes, and she wanted me to come down and pick out a few outfits. When it came to clothes, I didn’t like spending much money, not seeing a point in it. I’d rather spend money on books and usually settled with hoodies and skinny jeans.
“I don’t wanna hear it,” she said, and I could picture that one eyebrow arched as she gave attitude. “You can’t live in the same two pairs of pants forever. When you get a break from school, come see me.”
“Fine,” I caved, smiling. “How’s Patrick?”
Mom talked about her silver fox a bit. They’d gone hiking at Devil’s Den State Park the previous weekend before having a picnic near the lake. Hearing the happiness in her voice told me she was serious about him before she even admitted it to me. When she asked if I’d finally meet him, I agreed.
I felt better after talking to her, and once we got off the phone, I got my laptop out of my bag and set it back up on the desk. Remembering I still needed to email the Monday lecture notes to Angel, I logged into my account and typed out a message:
Hey, Angel. Here are the notes from the lecture. If you need any help with the missed work, just let me know.
-Saint
After attaching the word document, I hitsend.
The TV turned on in the living room, louder than necessary. By the sound of it, Leo had put on an action movie, one with squealing tires, rapid gunfire, and men shouting constantly as obnoxious soundtrack music played. He was trying to get a rise out of me.
Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my fidget spinner and spun it, exhaling after a few turns. I opened another tab and went to my favorite music site, logged in, and clicked my “relaxation” playlist. It mostly had instrumental piano songs. The sound from the living room became even more obnoxious.
