Heath:Sitting at home. Tabitha is about to be over. Y?
Tabitha was his girlfriend. I’d met her a few times over the summer, and she was sweet, if not a little airheaded.
Me:No reason. Have a gr8 day.
I didn’t want to bring him down with me.
Heath:R u okay??
Me:Yeah. I’m gr8. Just bored and wanted 2 check in.
He sent me a few more texts, not believing me. Once I reassured him, I put my phone away and put my face in my hands. I fucking hated being so vulnerable. It was why I’d buried the pain and covered it up with humor and anything to make me feel good.
To forget.
When I finally pulled myself together, I got back onto the road and headed back toward the college. Even when I was back on campus, I didn’t go to the dorm. Saint would be there, probably waiting to talk to me, and I wasn’t ready to face it yet. Maybe I’d never be ready.
Fuck him.
I didn’t have to answer to him anyway. We were barely even friends. Good acquaintances at most. So what if I couldn’t stop thinking about him sometimes and wanted to know what he tasted like? If he was as kinky in bed as I imagined? The quiet ones were usually the biggest freaks in the sheets. It didn’t mean I liked him beyond that.
Right?
It was Saturday, so there was bound to be some party that night. If not in one of the frat houses, then at least in someone’s dorm room. I’d ask Tayte if he wanted to go to the bars on Garrison Avenue, if we couldn’t find a party. Just something to get my mind off the memories I’d long tried to repress. Ones Saint had fucking stirred up again.
Fuckhim, I thought again. Freaking Saint: the blond-haired demon from hell with icy blue eyes and a mouth that made me…
Ugh.Stop.
The sun beat down on me as I walked across campus, but the breeze helped block some of the heat. The weather was crazy, going from warm one day to chilly the next, as though it couldn’t make up its mind. As I walked on the sidewalk, I peered upward at the trees, seeing the way the light streamed through the branches.
My phone buzzing made me tear my gaze from the trees, and I looked at it, expecting to see Heath.
It was Tayte.
“Hey, dude,” Tayte said once I’d answered. “Where did you go last night? I couldn’t find you so I thought you went home with someone.”
“Yeah, it was something like that,” I said, walking toward the Smith-Pendergraft building. They had a sitting room with flat screen TVs I could watch for a while, until I found something else to do. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Hell, if I know,” Tayte answered with a yawn. “I just woke up. Blondie kept me up last night. In more ways than one.”
Blondie? Oh! Yeah, the girl with the big tits and ass hanging out of her shorts.
“You whore,” I teased. A girl snapped her head my way as I passed, and I mouthed, “not you.”
“Not as big of one as you,” Tayte countered. “You have something in mind?”
“The bars on Garrison?” I suggested, going inside the building.
“I’m game.”
After hanging up, I settled into one of the couches in the lounge area and leaned my head against the back cushion. Around me, people had their textbooks open and laptops in front of them, doing their school work like good little students. Bettering their futures.
I should’ve been doing that, focusing more on my studies. Ihaddone that in the last few weeks, but I was tired of being responsible.
I wanted to go back to forgetting.
***