Page 86 of Found at Sea
Clenching my jaw, I stared into Fletcher’s eyes, wishing more than anything to make him happy. Make him proud.
“I cannot,” I said in a low voice, answering both him and my unspoken thought. “It pains me to see that look in your eyes, sweet boy, but there are some things I must do. Keeping him alive is a risk I cannot take.”
“You have no honor,” Fletcher said, stepping away from me and shaking his head.
“Well I am a pirate.”
“Avast, ye blasted boy!” Byron yelled, drawing my attention back to him.
Alek had rushed forward and knocked the sword from his grip. As Byron righted himself and went to retrieve his weapon, Alek reached out a hand to the nymph. The creature stared up at him before accepting. Byron shouted at the surrounding men to help, but Alek was too quick. He helped the nymph get to the railing of the ship before lifting him up and over it.
Before the nymph jumped into the water, though, he turned to stare at Alek. Something passed over his face before his brow narrowed.
And then he was gone.
***
“You can’t just keep him locked in there!” Fletcher exclaimed, banging his fists on the table. Seeing him so angry was new, and I stood in the study, watching him lose his temper. With good reason. “He only did what you didn’t have the courage to do.”
If any other man had basically called me a coward, I would’ve put them in their place without a second’s thought.
“Be angry all you want, but it changes nothing,” I spoke with a level tone. “If I don’t punish Alek for disobeying me, what would that say to the crew? I’d be weak in their eyes. Spineless. As you recall, that’s what nearly got me killed in Bone Bay. The men thought me unfit to lead them.”
“Not all the men,” Fletcher corrected. “Only five.”
“Aye, but it was five too many, boy.” I neared him, and he straightened his spine, glaring up at me. When I went to brush my hand along his cheek, he batted it away. Although I didn’t show it, the action stung me deeply. “Fletcher, stop this.”
“Oh, like you stopped them from trying to kill the merman? Nymph. Whatever he is.” Fletcher started pacing, gliding his fingers through his hair. “How long are you going to keep Alek locked in the brig like some criminal? Asyourecall, he saved your life in Bone Bay.”
“I have not forgotten.”
“Then why are y—”
“You don’t understand,” I interjected, striding forward and grabbing him by the shoulders. He pushed against me, but I held on tighter. “I’m not going to harm Alek, but he does need to be punished for his actions. A few days in the brig is nothing compared to what I’ve done to men who’ve done far less. Stop acting like a child and see that Iamhelping him. Byron and the others want nothing more than to take matters into their own hands and give him lashings for his disobedience.”
“All because he saved a man’s life?” Fletcher asked, no longer consumed by anger. His shoulders slumped and he stared at me with dejected, green eyes. “That’s not just and you know it.”
“You saw him as a man. I saw him as a beast that would kill every man aboard this ship and not think twice of it.” I moved my hands to his waist before gently pulling him forward until his chest was against mine.
“Why did you want him dead?” he asked.
“Because keeping him alive was too great of a risk,” I answered, brushing a strand of hair out of his green eyes. “That’s enough discussion for tonight. Let’s go to bed.”
Fletcher looked as if he was about to argue, and I braced myself for it. But then he heaved a sigh and pressed his face against my neck.
I hugged him and rested my chin on the top of his head. “Alek will be fine. I give you my word.”
Leaning more against me, he nodded as his small body shuddered with suppressed cries. I wanted to take his grief away, but I couldn’t without angering over half of my crew. It was a dilemma far greater than any I’d ever faced. Either way, someone would be upset.
As soon as we were in bed, Fletcher turned away from me. And for once, I didn’t reach for him, knowing he needed the distance.
“Goodnight, my songbird,” I whispered to his back, aching to embrace him.
He curled more away from me and said nothing.
Sleep did not come for me that night. My own inner demons refused to allow my mind rest. I was angry at myself for upsetting Fletcher, but even angrier for ordering the nymph to be killed in the first place.
Maybe I deserved my curse, even to this day.
