Page 76 of Found at Sea
“Did you enjoy yourself?” I asked, grasping at straws for conversation.
“What do you think?” he answered, flashing a smile. “I’ve never had a man so thick. Sitting will be difficult.”
Not having expected him to say such a thing, I laughed. “So your preferences tonight were for men.”
It was hard for me to comprehend that he switched between men and women. Maybe because I’d only ever favored men and the thought of a woman had never aroused me.
“Both,” he answered with a shrug. “I fucked a pretty lass while he drove himself into me.”
“Do you always need both during sex?”
“No,” he answered as we reached the tavern and went inside. We found a table in the corner before taking our seats. “There are times I only wish for a man. But when it’s just me and another person, it feels…”
“Too intimate?”
“Yes. Precisely,” Alek answered. “It’s not because I don’t want that intimacy, because I do. More than anything I wish to find someone who will accept me as I am.” He looked at the table and traced a line in the wood with his finger. “But I know that will never happen, and I’d prefer to keep everyone at arm’s length.”
“I was the same before meeting Fletcher,” I admitted, feeling both odd for sharing so many personal details with someone but also enjoying it.
Once I’d received my curse, I’d started distancing myself from everyone, and it was nice to actually talk to someone. I’d talked a lot to Fletcher, but I still needed work on that front as well and be more open with him.
We ordered drinks and drank them in silence. Alek had a contemplative expression, and I suspected I mirrored that look.
“Do you love him?” he asked once our mugs were near empty.
“I’ve never loved anyone,” I answered as truthfully as I could. “I’m not sure I know how to.”
“He loves you.”
“I know,” I responded, rubbing at the side of my face. “Not even a month ago, he hated me.”
Creases formed in the middle of Alek’s forehead. “He never hated you. He only hated what you used to be. What you still are, I suppose, but you’ve chosen to go down another path.” He downed the rest of his mead before slamming it on the table and motioning to the wench working the tables to bring us another round. “I’m sure it’s chilling to fall in love with the darkness. Even more so when you realize you find comfort in it.”
I got the feeling he was no longer speaking of Fletcher.
The seer’s words flitted through my memory; of how once Alek reached age eighteen the protective shadow around him would flee and the darkness would find him. I didn’t know for sure what it meant, but ever since then, Alek had changed—been in his head a lot more and exhaustion lined his face and made him appear paler than normal. Paler than Fletcher which was saying a lot.
A woman in a corseted gown came over and filled our mugs. She was older than most of the other wenches I’d seen, but that didn’t stop her from working the room—delicately gliding her fingers along men’s arms and drawing their attentions to her breasts when she spoke to them.
“Anything else I can do for you boys?” she asked, leaning forward and showing off her cleavage.
I shook my head before tossing her some coin. Fortunately, she got the hint that we weren’t interested and went on her way.
“I used to fear you,” Alek said once the woman had gone to another table. I lifted my gaze to his, expecting to see hatred in his blue eyes. Instead, I saw admiration. “But never once did I loathe you. Even when you talked down to me and threatened me, I always remembered the captain who saw me near death in that abandoned town and saved my life. You can tell the world you did it for your own benefit, but I know the truth, Captain. That sort of kindness cannot be faked. I not only saw it in your eyes when you offered a hand to me, but I felt it in my very core.”
“And now?” I asked, all but forgetting about my mug of ale in front of me. “If you don’t hate me, whatdoyou feel?”
“Loyalty,” he answered. “Love, I suppose. Only not in the way of lovers.” His eyes dropped to his mead as a smile curved his lips. “Perhaps a father.”
“I’m not old enough to be your father,” I said with a scoff.
“No, but you did take me in and practically raise me for the past six years.” Alek’s stare was intense. “I’ve learned a lot from you. Good and bad.”
An unexplainable feeling settled in my chest. I cared for Alek, but I’d never thought he’d return the affection. Like he’d said, it wasn’t a romantic love, but one of family.
“We should get back to the ship,” I said before grabbing my ale and taking a long drink. It took a lot of drinking for it to have any effect on me, so I hardly felt anything as I stood from the table. “You have a redhead to talk to.”
Alek grinned before drinking more of his mead and standing as well.
