Page 47 of Axios
I related all too well to her words. My life had been decided for me right at my birth. There was no straying from that path, not unless I wished to be shunned from our society and stripped of all my rights. Perhaps even my life.
She seemed to come to the same conclusion as the anger in her honey eyes dissipated. “My apologies, Axios. How unfair it is for me to complain of marriage, when you are forced into a warrior’s life. Forgive me.”
“There is nothing to forgive, sister. I accepted my fate long ago and do not think much of it these days.”
I looked to the sky. The sun’s position told me it was midday, and I’d need to return soon for evening meal. Eryx should also be finished with instructing for the day.
Training without him hadn’t been as unpleasant as I’d presumed. He’d been in his new position for a fortnight, but I saw him every day and slept by his side every night. Along with his instructing, he still practiced with us on the field some days so that he’d keep his strength, however, it wasn’t often.
At times, if possible, I’d watch him teach the youths. And by the gods, he truly was a born leader.
“Where have you gone?” Leanna asked, nudging my arm. “You disappeared into your mind again. It is nice to see your time in theagogehasn’t taken that from you at least. As a boy, you were always lost in your head.” She smiled. “I remember you once told me a fantastical tale of a land far away where men were as tall as trees and could jump to the stars. When I asked you where you got such a silly idea, you told me you saw it in your dreams.”
I’d forgotten about that. Perhaps that was why I became so absorbed in the stories Eryx told me. Even though I teased him about it, I found a peace within the tales he spun. They took me away and allowed me to explore other lands—made me forget for just a little while what my life actually was.
“Axios, I must confess to you.” Her voice had taken on a serious edge, and I looked to her with interest. She hesitated before averting her eyes. “Mother wishes for me to marry Eryx. She has been quite fond of him for many years, ever since you first brought him home to us. He is clever, strong, and strikingly handsome, and she believes he has all the qualities to make a fine husband.”
My breath seized in my chest, and my skin prickled. The sound of my blood rushing through my veins increased and deafened me to Leanna’s next words.
Imagining Eryx bedding anyone else—belonging to another—filled me with an irrepressible fury. He was mine. Only mine.
As she reached for me, I jerked out of her hold before standing. The world around me spun a little, but I quickly regained control of my emotions.
“No. It is out of the question,” I growled. I barely recognized my own voice—full of rage and pain. “You can’t take him from me. I—”
“Brother!” She jumped to her feet and grabbed both of my arms. I was much larger than her, and she had to tilt her head to look me in the eyes, but she wasn’t fazed. “Listen to what I say and calm yourself. I willnotmarry him. Do you honestly think me so wicked? I have seen the love you carry for him, and I would rather be a spinster for the rest of my days than to take him from you.”
I had yet to tell my family about mine and Ery’s relationship, but of course Leanna had detected it.
“Then why do you tell me this?” I asked, no longer consumed by fury. An ache remained in my heart, however.
Leanna released her hold on me and stepped back. “I tell you so that when Mother approaches you or Eryx one day, you are prepared.”
At the mention of our mother, I looked toward the house. She hadn’t even bothered stepping outside to greet me since my arrival.
“I should leave,” I said, anxious to return home.
“Axios, please do not fret. I love you, dearest brother.”
“And I you.”
Then, I left without another word.
The conversation had made me ponder things I hadn’t considered before. Would Eryx want to marry a woman someday? How much longer could we continue as we were? Men who failed to have children and carry on their bloodlines were looked down upon. Sexual relationships between boys were considered inappropriate once they became adults.
I had often agonized over battle separating us one day, but was the real threat to our happiness right there in Sparta?
The questions haunted me as I walked home, and they continued to distract me all day.
During evening meal, I sat with Eryx and our friends at the table as they spoke of their day, but I struggled to follow the discussion, and soon, I stopped trying. The food was tasteless on my tongue, as was the small glass of wine that I’d consumed in an effort to help ease my troubled mind.
Eryx watched me with concerned eyes, constantly peering at me as we ate. When I met his gaze, I saw his worry.
He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “What are you thinking?”
I said nothing.
The discussion I needed to have with him was not one to be had with others nearby. If I was being honest with myself, I was fearful of where the talk might lead.
