Page 46 of Axios
He exhaled and straightened his stance, staring at the boy’s dead body only briefly before returning the spear to Gaius and walking back to his spot in line. No guilt clouded his features. With an emotionless expression, he focused ahead.
Felix spoke next, but I did not listen to his words. My gaze drifted back to the boy, and I tried to find sympathy for him—for the family he left behind.
I couldn’t find it.
I felt nothing.
The years had desensitized me to death. Killing was our way of life, and somewhere along the way, I’d lost hold of the person I used to be. Perhaps it had been the day I’d killed the helot to save Eryx, or possibly it had gradually occurred, instances that had slowly built and chipped away pieces of my moral compass until I was what Sparta shaped me to be.
Lost was the Axios who fought the cruelty toward slaves, and in his place was just a shell of the man he thought he’d grow to become. A cold, unfeeling shell that did as he was told.
Then, it happened.
Eryx lightly moved his hand against mine, just as he’d done so long ago before thediamastigosiswhen I’d been afraid. The action was small and unperceivable to anyone other than us, but I clutched onto the feeling. His simple touch flooded my chest with warmth, and the numbness faded.
He knew my internal battle without me having to speak a word of it.
I wished we were alone in that moment so that I could pull him into my arms. It mattered not that we’d spent the afternoon making love; touching and exploring each other’s bodies until we quaked and were sated. I needed him again, just as I knew I’d forever need him—not only in body but also in mind.
He always found a way to bring me back to myself when I strayed too far.
Once I was grounded again, I focused on Felix, who was still addressing us.
“Being a warrior is more than knowing how to swing a sword or throw a spear,” he said in a deep tone that commanded attention. His dark hair fell freely around his face, instead of being tied back by the leather strap he often used. “Self-reliance and survival, knowledge of battle strategy, wisdom, strength of character, and fortitude are just as vital. Some men are born to follow.” His stare moved to Eryx. “And some men are born to lead.”
I followed his gaze and looked at my beautiful Eryx.
His golden hair had grown to the middle of his ears and had regained its slight wave. Framed by dark lashes, his green eyes took my breath away at times, and I often became lost in their emerald depths. His lips curved in just the right way, almost feminine but made masculine by the strong set of his jaw.
Although handsome and possessing features that made even the most beautiful women of Sparta pale in comparison, he also held an unspoken danger. A lethal beauty. From the age of twelve, he’d proven himself to be a leader. When he spoke, men listened.
Felix continued, “Some of you will have the honor of training these youths. To teach them what you’ve learned in theagogeand to show them what it means to be a Spartan. Consider it the final phase in your own training.”
I averted my gaze from my lover and looked to Felix, interested in what he’d spoken.
Nikias had been one of our trainers before he fully completed his training and joined a syssition of his own. I’d learned a lot from him and was saddened to see him go. He now fought in the war, and I said a prayer to the gods each night that he fared well and that he’d return home safely.
Felix called Eryx, Melias, and Haden’s names, instructing them to step forward. I sucked in a sharp breath, anticipating what I knew was about to transpire. They were each assigned to a group ofephebesand were told their new routine would begin early the following morning.
Haden’s group appeared nervous, when actually, Eryx’s group certainly had the most to fear. He would push them hard—to their breaking point and far past it—and wouldn’t tolerate any defiance.
My name wasn’t called, and the rejection cut like a sharpened blade. However, I realized that the best men for the position were provided it, and so, the ache lessened. I was not the greatest fighter or the wisest of us. My skills were sufficient, but not extraordinary. Felix had made the right choice.
I only hoped it wouldn’t separate me from Eryx too much. The thought alone made my palms sweat. He and I’d faced every challenge side by side, and now… everything would change.
Chapter Twelve
“Ishall gut him and hang him from a tree,” Leanna said as she worked in her garden. Her thin clothing was tattered in places and discolored from her digging in the earth. She wiped a hand across her forehead, leaving a smear of dirt behind, and peered at me. “By the gods, I swear it, dearest brother. He is becoming too familiar.”
I grinned as she ranted about Haden and his countless advances.
Ever since the night of the celebration of spring two years ago, he’d relentlessly sought after her. She had pushed him away every time, and yet, he persisted. His determination was admirable in my opinion, but I kept that thought to myself.
Her garden wasn’t grand, but it held charm. She’d collected stones that were unique in shape and pigment and had placed them around the edges as a barrier, and the flowers she’d planted provided a nice array of color.
“Haden can be overbearing at times,” I said, squatting beside her to help move some of the stones in place. “Yet, I feel as if he’d make an excellent husband for you. He is loyal, strong, and although a bit simple, he has a good heart.”
She glared at me before leaning her head back and groaning. “Oh, no. Not you too. You sound like Mother.” Then, she spoke in a higher pitched tone, “Leanna, it is time you married. You are a woman of twenty, and you have a duty to Sparta to bear sons.” With a huff, she plopped in the dirt and rested her arms on her knees. “I do not favor having my life decided for me.”
