Page 56 of Axios
As we met each other’s stares, I searched my memory for anything that could’ve sent him astray.
We had not fought, and we’d lain together just last night.
When he went to pass me, I slapped a hand on his chest to halt him. “Why are you untruthful, Eryx? We keep nothing from the other.”
He looked at my hand before moving his gaze upward, staring at me both with pain and trepidation. “There are times when a lie is more forgiving than a truth, Axios.”
“And what is this truth you are keeping me from?” I asked, still holding onto him. “Do not think you can spare my pain by keeping me oblivious. All things come to light with time, and it will only result in fueling my rage by having been blinded to it for so long.”
Had he been untrue and had lay with another?
He must have seen the question in my eyes because he forcefully grabbed my chin and tilted my face to his.
“I wouldneverbetray you,” he growled, but then his expression softened and he surprised me by placing a soft kiss to my lips. Tender and almost sad…as if he were saying goodbye.
The kiss only resulted in intensifying my unease. I pressed my forehead to his before pulling back to look at him, searching his face for the answers I sought.
The green of his eyes gave nothing away. I saw nothing but the façade he hid the truth behind.
“Tell me. Now.” My heart could take no more of the anticipation.
He hesitated. He was a man who had an extraordinary way with words, and yet, in this moment when I needed them most, he couldn’t find them. But then something shifted in his expression. The hesitance waned and compliance took its place.
“You wish to know what troubles me,” he began, gently gripping my arm before releasing me. “Perhaps my thoughts have gotten the best of me, and I caused you worry for naught. Yet… talk of marriage has dampened my spirit and forced me to consider things I’d rather not.” His gaze moved to the floor, and his voice grew thick. “One day we will be expected to marry a woman and bed her. Give her children. Our duties as Spartan males call for it.”
Where my heart had beaten heavily just moments before, it stopped then, and I felt nothing but the cold sensation of loss. That was what I had feared and precisely why I’d yet to mention it to him.
I waited for him to continue, not trusting myself to speak.
“I do not desire anyone else,” he said, finally lifting his eyes to mine. “But I fear we might not have a choice in the matter. When the day comes… we must do what is expected.”
“You’re wrong,” I snapped, unable to conceal the hurt that had taken residence in my entire being. Hurt he caused with one, agonizing sentence. “There is always a choice, Eryx. Always. You just refuse to choose me.”
“Ax… I…”
He reached for me, but I stepped out of his grasp.
My eyes burned and tears threatened to escape, but I gritted my teeth and turned my sadness into anger. “I admire, and have forever admired, the way you hold Spartan ideals close to you. How you’ve built your life, stone by stone, with warrior values. Ever since we were boys, I have wished I could be like you. Strong, wise, and a man people regard with praise. A leader. But, my friend, you’ve become blinded to those principles.”
Eryx watched me, and the pain clouding his eyes was so great, I felt it deep in my own soul. He did not speak.
“You once told me you’d turn the whole world to ash for me,” I said, pinning him with an unwavering stare. “And yet, you now stand before me, prepared to toss me away so easily. You truly are the perfect Spartan, aren’t you?”
He squared his jaw. “It is not only I who will have to marry. You will be required as well. Do you not believe it hurts me as well? To imagine a life without you?”
My anger drained as a cold crept over me. “That is where we differ, Eryx. It matters not what they demand of me, I’d rather die than walk away from you.” I looked at his golden hair, wishing to run my fingers through the silky strands but refraining from doing so. His beautiful face was cast in sweet sorrow, and his eyes which were usually so confident were unsure. “I knew your devotion to Sparta… I just never imagined you would choose it over me.”
“Perhaps we could still be together,” he suggested, still saddened but appearing more hopeful. “Even if we are married, that does not mean we have to part. We can do what is expected of us as husbands—bed our wives only to give them children—and then find our way back to each other.”
“No.” I shook my head, feeling fury burn through me. “I willnotbe some secret—a whore you sneak away to see in the dead of night. I’m appalled you’d even suggest it.”
When I turned to leave, he seized my arm.
“Axios… do not leave this way,” he pleaded, his voice so full of emotion that it took me off guard. “I only meant it as a possible option. You are not a whore, nor will I ever consider you one. You’re my heart.”
“And yet you speak of leaving me,” I growled, yanking my arm from his hold.
“I said the truth would hurt more than the lie,” he said, staring at me with watering eyes. “We can discuss this. Don’t… don’t leave me. I beg of you. Do not leave my side still so consumed with rage.”
