“Axios, face me.”
I did not fight his request because I needed to see him. Perhaps, it would provide me some clarity. When I turned and met his stare, his eyes watched me with the look I’d come to expect from him, one that was kind but also searching, as if he were seeing into a part of my soul.
“Speak,” he said in a tone that matched the expression in his grass-green eyes.
He brushed the back of his hand along my cheek. A gentle caress that Spartans had no purpose for. Public displays of affection were looked down upon, even when soldiers went off to war and said goodbye to their families. Feelings were for the weak.
But I craved his gentleness, especially after the daily harshness my body underwent.
“The odds are stacked against us this day,” I answered, pressing my face into his touch before pulling back again. “What honor comes from them being armed with whips while we are defenseless?”
Eryx smoothed his hand down my side as he formulated his response. “The test is not for them, but for us. In battle, there will be times when we are outnumbered or with no weapon and we will have to rely on other strengths, such as strategy, stealth, and intellect. This is just another phase of the training. To prepare us.”
“I wish I could see the world as you, Ery. It matters not what they do—how they beat us or what challenges they place in our path—you continue to see the positives within it. You search for ways to overcome any obstacle.”
He watched me a moment. Eryx never spoke in haste. Instead, he weighed each word carefully and gave every syllable meaning.
“I must,” he answered, removing his arm from me and lying flat on his back. “We are warriors, Axios… or we will be someday. Our entire lives are shaped around defending our home and dying for it if we must. There is nothing more.”
“What if I want more?” I asked in a whisper so low I wasn’t sure it would reach his ears.
Life was more than fighting and pain. It had to be.
A piece of his golden hair fell across his brow as he turned his head to look upon me once again. His lips parted as he prepared to answer, but he was silenced by the door to the barracks bursting ajar.
Gaius had come to wake us.
I wasn’t sure what Eryx would have said had he not been interrupted. As we stood from our beds and exited to go toward the hall for morning meal, I wondered if I’d ever know.
***
My body shook as I stood in silence with the other boys. Eryx was at my side, and not even his closeness could wash away the tension that attacked my every muscle.
Roars sounded from outside the building where we waited, cutting through the quiet like a sharpened blade. A crowd had gathered to bear witness to the ritual and to see the legendary show of Spartan toughness.
At one time, the ritual had been more sacred and private, but as time passed, tales of the Spartan youths had spread through the land like wildfire and had become a spectacle, attracting sightseers from all over Greece.
A deep voice boomed and echoed throughout the small arena, speaking of the event to come. He spoke of sacrifice, courage, and glory. Cheers erupted at his words, and the noise only added to the anticipation.
“I feel ill,” Theon admitted from my left side, shaking as he stared at the exit. His black hair glistened with sweat, probably deriving from both the heat of the midday sun and his nerves. “Is this what it will be like going to war?”
Theon was small and fairly skilled at fighting, but his strength was his quickness. He could move from one place to the other in the blink of an eye and dodge blows before they had chance to strike him.
“No,” Eryx answered before looking at him. “War will be worse.”
I did not understand how he could be so confident.
As he stared ahead, he gave no indication that he was frightened. His jaw clenched and his green eyes narrowed, and I’d never seen him appear more lethal. A warrior to be feared even with no weapon.
Quill, one of the smallest boys in our herd, stepped backward. “I cannot do this.” When someone reached out to halt him, he yanked away and shrieked, “Release me! I… I…”
Another roar sounded from the arena and cut off his stuttered ramblings. He frantically shook his head from side to side as the smell of urine rose into the air.
Several of the other boys, having seen Quill’s cowardice, began behaving the same way, trembling and moving their gazes around the room as if searching for an exit. Some of them started speaking their worries aloud, the sound of their panicked voices blending together.
“Quiet,” Eryx demanded in a tone that sent shivers down my spine. The boys stopped and all turned to him as if he were the commander and looking to him for guidance. “I know you are afraid. They will have whips and objects to beat us whereas we have only our bare hands. But you are forgetting that we also have our minds. Our intellect.” He moved his stare to each of their faces. “And we outnumber them.”
I could feel a slight shift in the air as his words fell upon their ears. They exchanged hopeful glances, but remained silent. Waiting for him to continue. Hanging on to his every word.