Page 121 of Axios
All wounds—even the unseen ones that lay within the heart—mended with time, and I hoped he eventually healed.
May we meet again, my friend, I thought as I lost sight of him.In this life or the next.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Sparta. A place I could wander with my eyes closed and envision every tree and every meadow. A place that had once brought me pain, but I had learned to appreciate the pain—to overcome it and see the beauty lying within. The place I had met a boy with the most intriguing golden hair, so many years ago, and fallen in love.
It was my home.
However, as we returned, I lacked the relief I usually experienced upon seeing Mount Taygetus, the river, and the familiar terrain surrounding Laconia. The sense of peace was absent within me. A weight had settled on my chest as we’d left Orchomenus and had yet to lift.
As Eryx and I walked through the door of our home, everything was dark. Quiet. Such a change from the constant noise of hundreds of men traveling together.
“Axios?” Eryx came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Were we in the wrong to leave him there?” I asked, opening the wooden shutters and staring out into the late evening. Even outside there was silence. The wind did not blow, and the trees were unmoving. “Being home while he is still away feels wrong. As if we abandoned him.”
“It is what he wanted,” he replied, moving away and lighting a candle. Once the flame came to life, it caught Eryx’s shadow and displayed it on the wall. “What were we to do? Tie him up and force him to return with us? We need to respect his wishes.”
I said nothing, just continued looking out into the night. Eventually, I sighed and closed the shutters, knowing the absolution to my inner turmoil was not out in the trees or within the grass.
Quill had made his decision, and I needed to release the guilt I carried for only doing what he had wished.
For my sanity.
Days after being home, I began settling back into life in Sparta. Training. Enjoying time with Eryx. Visiting with Leanna and then going to see Leonidas as he dominated the training arena.
My concerns over my companion were still in the back of my mind, but worrying was senseless for it would not alter anything.
Eryx and I had a new herd of youths. We had worked with them that morning, showing them mostly offensive maneuvers. Eryx had ensured that I not be too active, though. My wound had mostly healed—other than a long, jagged scar on my midsection—but it was still tender and ached when I put too much pressure on it.
I had not disputed his concerns and had obliged to his request.
“Axios! Eryx!” Demetrius exclaimed, jogging toward us as we left the field. He was taller than me, but still thin. His kind demeanor had not changed. He wore a bright smile and spoke with a friendly, exuberant tone. “It is good to see you. When I heard of the battle, and all the men lost, I feared the worst.”
He, Cassius, and the others had completed theagoge, but we still saw them around the city. Each time I laid eyes on them, an odd sensation trickled through me.
I wondered if Gaius and Felix felt the way about Eryx and me as I felt over Demetrius. Even though he was a man, I still considered him as a boy—one I had grown to think of as more than a youth I had mentored. A son. And seeing him as a grown man filled me with pride.
“What was it like?” he then asked. “Battle. Being so near to death.”
The tips of my ears prickled as a hollowing formed in my chest. He was of age to where he would be called to fight if we went to battle again. I did not want that life for him.
“If fortune be in our favor, may you not know the answer for a long time,” Eryx said, reflecting the same thoughts as me and clapping Demetrius on the arm. “Where is Cassius? You two are never far from the other.”
Demetrius grinned and started walking with us as we advanced toward the dining hall.
“He is around here somewhere,” he answered, still with a smile. “We were playing a game, but I became sidetracked upon seeing you. Knowing him as I do, he is probably in the stables hiding.”
I quirked a brow as my interest was piqued. “The stables?”
Memories flitted through my mind of all the nights Eryx and I had rolled around in the hay, exploring each other’s bodies.
As if understanding my meaning, Demetrius’ face flamed red and he averted his gaze, not answering. After several moments of awkward silence, he said goodbye and excused himself, swiftly walking in the opposite direction.
It seemed as if it had become more common for men to take pleasure in each other. The lack of women presence in our everyday lives probably had much to do with that, but I also believed it to be a natural occurrence between some men. Not just a mere curiosity and desire to have a need sated, but something greater.
My love for Eryx was not because of a lustful want. It was more profound.
