Page 36 of Tied to You
Chaos. Maybe he’s right.
My chin drops to my chest as I quickly fight the weak part of my brain. The part getting upset by his rejection. I don’t know him. He doesn’t owe me anything. This is stupid. So, so stupid. If I want this job, to prove I can be something more than what is expected of me, then I need to suck it up. Rein in these emotions that are overriding me.
Mear seconds away from my resolve tearing, like a power cut directly to my heart, I’m all out of fight. The need to challenge, completely dissipates. My ears ring with realisation and perhaps frustration. I almost blew it all, and for what?
Chaos.
My tongue ties in knots, no words coming to me. So, I do what I know best. Get myself out of the situation. I turn without giving him eye contact, lower myself so I’m sitting, then lower again to the next bale, my foot now irritatingly burning in agony.
Travis doesn’t say anything as I leave. Doesn’t even try to stop me. My heart hammers so loud, I’m pretty sure he must be able to hear it as I drop out of his sight.
Once at the bottom, I limp my way to the stable, holding back my tears and finding Mick watching Blackjack with hopeful eyes.
“There you are,” he says, slightly wary, his eyes looking down. “Your foot alright?”
I nod, swallowing, my lips stretching to a forced smile. “Yeah. It’s fine.”His gaze stays on me a fraction too long. He knows something’s up. “I promise. I’m fine. I just need more painkillers, that’s all.”
“Right.” He looks back at Blackjack when she whinnies, snorting out a breath.
I take a step closer, happy for the distraction. “How’s she doing?”
“She’s my champion. Got it all under control.”
I smile. “How long does it take?”
Mick smiles then. “Each mare is different. She looks like she’s just started contracting, so two, maybe three hours before she starts to deliver. We just need to observe her. Fortunately for us, she knows what to do.”
I let out a sigh of air, forcing Mick to look at me. “I wonder how she knows?” I don’t look away from Blackjack. So calm. So in control.
A small, welcomed silence ensues before Mick speaks. “Basic instinct,” he starts. “This is her young. She’ll do whatever it takes to make sure he’s safe. I have every faith that she’ll let me know if something’s wrong.”
I pause. “What happens if it goes wrong?” My eyes eventually meet his.
He reads my face, silently watching me. “Then we step in.” He pushes away from the stable door. “Tea?”
I fold my arms, resting them on the door, my chin landing on my arm. “Please.” I watch Blackjack, seeing her in discomfort, but seeing her taking it in her stride. “Did we call the vet?”
Mick nods. “He’s on standby.”
I relax, watching her with awe.
“She’ll be fine.” Mick pats my shoulder as he walks past me. “Keep an eye on her.”
And I do just that. Grateful for the peace. Grateful for the distraction.
Chapter Nine
TRAVIS
What was I thinking? I knew what I was feeling, but that doesn’t mean I should have kissed her the way that I did. Idiot. Twisting the throttle, I’m sucked back into the saddle, the wind whipping my face like a harsh wake up call.
My conscience is raging at me, my body buzzing from the pull of my bike and the newfound pull in my chest. She wouldn’t even look at me whilst I stood and watched her leave. She couldn’t. I know that. But she didn’t fight me. Never even attempted to challenge me for being a complete and utter wanker. “You blew it,” I mutter to myself, squeezing my grip on the bars, pulling the right one back further.
I’m burning miles, not really sure where I’m headed. Blank. Drawing no clue—for the first time in my life—as to what I’m supposed to do next. Ignore it? Ignore her? I could definitely avoid the farm like I have done before. But ignore the way kissing her lit up my soul?
Impossible.
I despise myself for thinking that. Hate the way these new feelings stir inside me. Andshe’sthe one who’s causing them. She may have kissed me back, but I don’t know if she feels the same way. The woman literally makes me want to rip her head off. And at the same time, I want to be someone I don’t know I’m capable of being with her.
