Page 163 of Tied to You
He’s not looking at me. He’s staring into the distance. “You speaking from experience?”
Turning his head, he simply looks at me like I’m one of his men. No, scrap that, like I’m his family. I couldn’t be more grateful. “You have no idea.”
The corner of my lip twitches, my emotions catching. “What am I supposed to do?”
With a sigh, he replies, “That depends.”
“On?”
“What you want.”
I huff, my voice low and gravelly. “WhatIwant got me into this mess.”
He sighs. “So what are you going to do to get yourself out of it?”
I hold my hands out. “I don’t think there’s anything I can do.”
Another sigh. “There’s always something.”
I turn to him. Wondering. Rocco doesn’t have a wife or a family. I know he was close to Dean’s mum. Used to take them money from Ronnie and food when times were tough. But I’ve never seen him with a woman. Come to think of it, I’ve never even heard him talking about a woman. Yet, when he stills and eventually looks my way, I recognise the look staring back at me. It’s pain. The kind of pain I’m feeling now. The kind of painonlya woman can bring. “What would you do?” I ask, aware I might be overstepping some sort of mark here.
Rubbing the back of his neck, he shrugs. “You love her?”
It’s more than that. “She’s mine.”
He gives me a half smile. “I didn’t realise it was that serious.”
It is. Or it was, anyway. “Yeah, well. It’s done now.”
“And the kid? You going to be done with them too?”
My lips roll between my teeth. “I have no fucking clue,” I say honestly. “I don’t want it.” I sigh heavily, my fingers curling tightly into fists. I hate how I sound. “Does that make me a bastard? Does that make me any less of a man?” I bite down hard, my bones beginning to shake. “Because she wants it, and like a fucking idiot, I made her choose. Like she was ever going to pick me over the life inside her. She hates me. I saw it in her eyes before I closed the door on her.”
Rocco frowns at me like I’m missing the point. “Son, the life inside of herisyou. Of course she chose to keep it.”
Jamming my eyes shut, I listen because it’s all I can fucking do.
“A strong woman can stand up for herself. A woman like Mollie, stands up for everyone elseandherself. She’s the constant you have fucking needed. Look at everything you have going for you. Don’t tell me it’s not because of her.”
I rest my head against my balled fist, knowing he’s right. Getting back to the farm. Rebuilding my relationship with Mick. My business with Dean, the club business, the way she helped. Fuck, all of it involves her. Sheisthe reason my life makes sense now. Mollieisthe reason I wake up every day knowing what I’m doing and where my place is. “What have I done.” It’s not a question. I fucking know.
He shakes his head. “You backed her into a corner, rather than setting her free.”
“But she is free. I ended it.”
He stands, checking his phone again. Someone keeps messaging or calling him. “Letting Mollie go wasn’t for the better. You didn’t save her. You didn’t give up what you love to protect it. You gave her no choice but to choose the optionyouwanted her to, to make yourself feel better.”
I look up in a rage, knowing he’s right, but wanting to disagree with him so badly.
“What we do and how we live, it isn’t for the faint hearted. We have enemies. People who want to watch us burn. If we’re lucky enough to findsomeone strong enough to take that all in, see our flaws and watch us dance with the devil, andstilldeem us worthy to want to give us their love, then we need to hold onto that. For the love of fucking God, we need to never let it go.”
His face is troubled. He’s breathing heavy. He knows. He’s felt this. Before I can push him any further, he turns, giving me his back.
“And if she won’t take me back?”
He looks down at his phone. “She will.”
“How can you be so sure?”
