Page 45 of Chance
I made the update to Penny’s file, and I went home and kept the front door wide open.
William wouldn’t shut up.He wouldn’t stop shouting “nothing” at me.
I was nothing.
I was worth nothing.
I haddonenothing.
Not to save myself.
Or Penny.
Or any of the faceless, frightened other victims.
Because I had known nothing.
Nothing.
Evy made popcorn, and we sat and watched a movie with Reid.With the door open.Even though it was warm outside.And the AC was on.Reid slept on our couch every night because I needed Evy.Even through my numbness, I still clung to her, especially at night.She was the only thing I was still holding on for.
But Reid needed Evy too.He loved her.I saw it, could almost feel it every time he looked at her.Evy deserved for someone to love her so openly, so completely, like she was truly everything and not…nothing.
I ate the M&Ms that my sister had mixed into the popcorn, the way she knew I liked, leaving the buttery kernels untouched.And I tried so, so hard to hold on to the numbness.
But Penny.Her file kept popping into my head, her history playing out like a silent movie in my mind.Some faceless bastard driving her north.To William.
Andnothing.I hated that freaking word so, so much.
It was time for bed, and Reid was frustrated.It was late, and he’d had a long day at a jobsite.He’d come home covered in dust and soaked in sweat, stopping to kiss Evy before going up to his own apartment for a shower.As always, he was kind to me, even when he was tired and frustrated.I knew the open door was starting to bother him, though.He still didn’t understand.Not really.But he slept on the couch—to protect his sweetness and his new little sister—with that tender, indulgent smile of his that almost burned through the numbness.He was a good guy, the best.He had to be, or Evy wouldn’t love him.
You’re nothing, Evelyn.
I shoved William’s voice down, tried to lock it away.Clutched at the numbness until it felt like my fingertips might actually bleed.
“How about tonight, we try something new?”Reid said as he stood by the door in his sleep pants and black T-shirt.
Nothing.
“Just try,” he continued, starting to push the door, his smile steady.Kind, but not understanding.“How about tonight, we close the door?”
I lost hold of the numbness.
Because numbness was a fucking symptom.
And I was broken.
Chance
Bone-tired,I fell into bed after a shower.I’d worked extra hours the last couple days, trying to get ahead on a few projects, but mostly to keep myself from fucking up more with Evie.
She kept refusing to listen when I tried to talk to her, and I didn’t want to be like those creeps who couldn’t take no for an answer.That didn’t stop me from texting her throughout the day, hopeful that she might answer.Each day, I didn’t get a reply, so I had to ask Reid if she needed anything.
He never told me more than yes or no, which meant I had to resort to asking Everly for any updates.Like a beggar asking for scraps of information about the woman I was drowning without.Weirdly enough, Everly was always ready and willing to talk to me.She still called me a bloodhound or some other variant of canine.Insulted me.Bitched at me.Told me what a fuckup I was being and to get my shit straightened out.
But she gave me the small things about her sister’s life that were the most important.What made Evie laugh that day, how cute she’d been when she tried the hand-scooped ice cream at the campus café.Vanilla with chunks of Georgia peaches.I soaked up every last detail Everly supplied me with, stored away the intel for future use.
Grabbing my extra pillow, I held it to my chest.It smelled a little like Evie because Everly had taken pity on me and slipped me a few of the laundry tabs her sister used.Pretending like my peaches was lying there beside me, sleep descended…
