Page 7 of Chance
That forehead kiss sure had made me weak-kneed, though.
I’d been too flustered to respond to his message, but it had given me an excuse to add him to my contacts while Evy was showering.Telling my twin about my encounter with the handsome stranger who lived in our building should have been the first thing out of my mouth when she got out of bed.Instead, I stayed quiet.
Evy was always worrying about me, never taking any time for herself.I didn’t want to add more to her plate, especially if what I was feeling for Chance didn’t last longer than a few days.He would probably get tired of me before long anyway.
All morning, I got more texts from him, each one making me blush a little brighter.My fingers itched to text back immediately every time.But from what I’d watched on television, girls who did that were labeled desperate.I didn’t want him to think I was sitting around waiting on him.
Even if I was.
Chance: On my lunch, peaches.You haven’t replied to any of my previous texts.Starting to think you wrong-numbered me.
A pouty face emoji popped up next.
Chance: Prove to me you’re my peaches.Send me a picture of yourself.Right now.
Chance: Come on, peaches.
Chance: Peaches!
Chance: Please, peaches.Be my good girl.
Without giving it a second thought, I paused in the middle of the quad and took a quick selfie.Once I sent it, I turned the ringer off and hurried to my class, keeping my head ducked as doubts crowded my mind.
That was a terrible picture.
You looked like an idiot.
He probably thinks you’re high-maintenance.
He’s right, you are.
Stupid.
Nothing.You’re nothing, Evelyn.
Sucking in a breath, I tried to block out the self-deprecating voice in my head.It always sounded like William.Although he hadn’t ever outright called me stupid, that was how he’d made me feel.Like I was small, insignificant, nothing without him.
Shaking his voice out of my head, I glanced around, only slightly disappointed that no one was playing Frisbee.That was what they did inLegally Blondeand a few other college-themed movies I’d watched.It seemed like that was what students did in between classes if they weren’t big into other sports, like football.Trinity University was more into academia than athleticism.
Finding my class, I hesitated at the door, anxiety squeezing my lungs for a moment.Ironically, this was sociology, something I needed more life experience with.It was also a required elective for my degree.
William had allowed me to take online college courses, but never enough that I could declare a major.By now, I could have had an associate’s degree in multiple fields if he’d let me.Once I’d been accepted to Trinity, it hadn’t taken me long to decide what I wanted to focus on.
While I’d been in the hospital, I’d had a social worker who was there to guide me through the aftermath of everything.Out of everyone who had helped me following my mental health crisis, Gemma had stuck out the most.While the nurses, doctors, and therapists came and went, Gemma remained the constant throughout my stay.
Maybe one day, I would be able to help others the same way she had me.
I didn’t want to be a superhero.Of the two of us, that was Evy’s legacy.She was the badass twin.Not for even a single second did I imagine I had what it took to save another person.But I could hold their hand, perhaps in some small way make things a little easier while people found their own way through this chaotic world.
Someone bumped my shoulder as they impatiently walked around me.Realizing I was blocking the door, I murmured an apology and moved toward a few of the empty seats in the first row.This was primarily a lecture class, one that was also recorded for the online students.
Virtual classes had been an option for my degree and, of my five classes, three were online, because that was the only way they were offered at Trinity.
Keeping my face blank despite the embarrassment I felt wasn’t a challenge.I’d perfected the emotionless stare over the years.William would limit my television privileges if he thought I cared too much about something.If he perceived that I enjoyed something more than I liked being near him, he would take it away until he thought I no longer liked it.
Anything that caught my interest, that pulled my focus from him, became something he was immediately jealous of.He’d needed full control over me, and I’d learned early to hide my feelings from him.After I began to realize how things should have been, and that he was the reason I didn’t have Evy, pretending I didn’t hate him became a true challenge.Somehow, I’d never let him see the resentment that was like a living, breathing entity inside me.
Once I was seated, I took out my laptop and was getting comfortable when I accidentally looked at the now-closed door.All day, I hadn’t allowed myself to think about what would happen if I was in a room with a closed door.On top of my already high anxiety, that would have sent me spiraling, and I might not have left the apartment.
