Page 9 of Bad Call
She exhales slowly, understanding passing over her expression. “So, he knows Emmett.”
“Yeah,” I reply, my teeth worrying my lower lip. “At first, I thought I could just make myself scarce when Austin had visitors. I’m staying in the guesthouse, so it’s not like we’re sharing any of the same spaces. But yesterday, I opened the door and—” I pause, my voice getting caught in my throat as tears fill my eyes. They spill over immediately, the dam I’ve been trying desperately to hide behind all morning finally breaking, despite my efforts.
“Oh, Stell,” she whispers softly as I lose the battle, dropping down to the floor before hugging my knees to my chest. I feel so empty. My best friend is hundreds of miles away when all I want is to feel her arms around me. She was my rock throughout the divorce, and to this day, she’s the only person who knows just how deep my feelings of regret run. She’s pleaded with me over the years to tell Emmett how I feel—that he would understand—but thanks to the internet, I’ve literally watched him move on. Why would he entertain the girl who broke him when he has beautiful women lined up outside his door vying for his attention? I wouldn’t survive him telling me that he found someone who gave him everything I didn’t. Keeping my distance up until now was the only way to ensure that he never got the chance.
“He hates me,” I choke out. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget the way he looked at me, Arden. It was pure resentment and anger. There’s nothing left of us.” I hang myhead, tears soaking my face. My heart feels so tight and heavy, I’m convinced it may shatter at any moment.
“He doesn’t hate you,” she replies. “I’m sure he just didn’t expect to see you there. He was probably in shock, and I’d imagine that having you in front of him stirred up some painful memories, but the type of love you guys had—it doesn’t justgo away, Stell. That shit can’t be turned off, no matter how many years go by. Look at me and Jacks. We denied our feelings and tried to make them go away for almost a decade, but as soon as we returned to each other’s orbit, they came flooding back. So, maybe Emmett is sorting through his emotions, but I know him, and you were his world. There’s no way he doesn’t still hold some of that deep down.”
I shake my head, swiping at the moisture along my cheeks, but it’s useless with the way the tears keep coming. “No. You weren’t there. I saw it with my own two eyes. I’m nobody to him. It’s like we never existed at all.”
“I think you’re wrong, babe,” she says again, her voice soft and warm.God, I miss her.“Just give it time. You both need to process everything that’s happening—him especially. Even though you thought you were doing the right thing by divorcing him, it broke his heart. He has every right to feel angry in this moment, but I truly believe there will come a day when the two of you can be around each other and not be overwhelmed by the pain of what you used to be.”
I sniffle, hoping like hell that she’s right. His reaction to seeing me was completely valid, considering all the agony I put him through. The best I can hope for is that, eventually, he’ll look at me and not see the monster that left himbehind while his pleas fell on deaf ears. But he doesn’t owe me a damn thing, and I need to prepare myself for the possibility of this being our new reality.
“I have to get ready for work,” I mumble, wishing I could just stay right here on this floor all day. But Austin can’t be late, so I’d better get moving. “Thank you for being by my side through all of this. I know you’ve had your own problems, but I’ll never forget the nights where you were the only thing holding me together.”
Her eyes fill with tears, head tilting thoughtfully before she speaks. “I’ll always be here to hold your hand, no matter what. It’s going to be okay, Stella.” I truly don’t know what I did in this life to deserve a friend like her, especially with all the things I’ve done wrong, but I’ll be grateful until my last breath.
After we say our goodbyes, I stand, pour myself a cup of coffee, and head toward the bathroom to shower. I purposely avoid looking at myself in the mirror because I already know the events of the last twenty-four hours have taken a toll on me. Maybe it’ll get worse, and I’ll have to see my ex-husband all the time, or maybe his visit was a rare occurrence. Either way, Austin deserves the best care possible, so I need to push forward, even with the weight of my mistakes resting on my shoulders.
NINE
EMMETT
“Hayes!”Coach Hendricks shouts as I look at my empty hands like they just betrayed me. “What the hell was that? Dane has been hitting you in the numbers all day, yet you’re dropping passes left and right! If you don’t want to be here, get off my field!”
“Sorry, Coach,” I mumble through my mouth guard, hanging my head as I return to the end of the line. We’ve been doing passing drills for the last half hour, but I can’t seem to keep my mind from wandering to Stella.
It’s been nearly a week since I laid eyes on her for the first time in over seven years, and like an addict that’s been brought back to their drug of choice after so long of being clean and sober, I haven’t been able to think about anything else. I’ve even dropped by Austin’s house twice since then. I’m not really sure why, but I just felt drawn there, so I went. I’m guessing she was either avoiding me or just giving him privacy, because she didn’t come into the main house either time…but that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel her there.
No matter how much I try to push the memory of that day away, it’s on replay in my head. Every time I close my eyes, her bright brown ones are staring right back at me, filled with an emotion I don’t dare try to ascertain. I like to think I know who she is at her roots better than anyone—I’ve experienced just as many of her good moments as I have her bad ones—but the thing I can’t figure out is if the look of sadness on her face was due to the pain of seeing me, or just a response to my cold demeanor and the words I couldn’t stop myself from spitting like venom at her. Should I have? Probably not. But she was the very last person I expected to see, and I didn’t have time to think about how my reaction would affect either of us—because here I am, unable to catch an easy pass, my mind still drifting back to the exchange.
“You’ve got this, Hayes,” Jett says, slapping the top of my helmet as I step up to the line. Maddox yells out his cadence, and I take off, running my route as I wait for him to fire the ball my way. Thankfully, I’m more aware this time, so I’m ready when it hits me, closing my fingers around the textured leather and continuing toward the sideline.
“Better!” Coach yells, soothing my frazzled nerves just slightly. My personal life may be a mess right now, but I need to stay focused on doing my job, so they don’t send me packing like the other teams did. He blows his whistle, signaling the end of practice as we all gather our things and head toward the locker room. I quickly shower, wrapping a towel around my waist and returning to where Theo stands, pulling off his pads.
“Everything all right?” he says, unwinding the athletic tape from his wrist and adding it to the growing ball at the top of his locker. Just another weird quirk of his, hanging onto the used, dirty tape instead of throwing it away, claiming it’s good luck. I learned very quickly not to question the shit he does, because the answer will always be more confusing than the act itself.
“Yeah,” I reply, scrubbing a hand down my face. “Just a little off my game this week. I’ll bounce back.” He’s a good guy, very trustworthy from what I can tell, but I’m not ready to talk about everything that’s been going on. Hell, I’ve barely even unpacked my own thoughts, so how will I articulate them to someone else? I used to be great at expressing my emotions, always wearing my heart on my sleeve, but I’m not that guy anymore. Now, it’s not as easy for me to trust people in that way. I’ll get there eventually, but I’m still a work in progress.
“I stopped by Baker’s earlier this week, but he was getting ready for physical therapy, so we didn’t have long. He seems to be in better spirits now, doesn’t he?” His words make me freeze where I stand. Did he meet Stella? Did she stay away from the main house while he was there, like she has with me? I can’t stop the questions from bursting out of my mouth as though they have a mind of their own.
“Yeah,” I mutter. “Maybe that new nurse of his is keeping him motivated. Did you meet her?” I feel pathetic, fishing for information like this. It shouldn’t matter to me at all if any of my other teammates have met her. She doesn’t belong to me, and it’s none of my business whoshe talks to. But that doesn’t stop the rage from bubbling up inside me when I think of her smiling at them, while all I got was despondence.
“Nah,” he says, making every muscle in my body go slack with relief. “He said she wanted him to feel like his life hadn’t changed so drastically, so she stays in her own space when people come to visit.” A grin tugs at one corner of his mouth. “I wonder what kind of motivation she’s giving him. What if she’s hot as fuck, and they end up banging each other’s brains out during his daily sponge bath?”
My blood runs cold, flowing like ice through my veins as I consider what he’s saying. Realistically, I know Austin isn’t in bad enough shape to need help bathing. I’m sure he did while he was in the hospital with his broken ribs, but Stella wasn’t with him then. The last time I saw him, he was resting his arm on the back of the couch, so clearly, he’s not having any issues with lifting it. But the irrational part of me—the one that still thinks he has some sick claim on his ex-wife—wants to tear the walls off this place right now. Teammate or not—injured or not—if he touches her, I’ll lose my goddamn mind.
Without a word, I rip off the towel, throw on some clothes, grab my bag, and rush out of the room. I’m on autopilot, walking straight to my truck and not giving a single fuck about anyone else around me as I blow out of the parking lot of the practice facility. I’m pretty sure I black out on my way to Austin’s house, only coming back to reality when I’m keying in the entry code he gave me last week and making my way down the driveway much faster than I probably should.
Like an absolute psychopath, I throw the vehicle into park and leap out, not even bothering to cut the ignition before I’m rushing up the steps and entering a house that doesn’t belong to me, completely uninvited. I round the corner of the entryway, stopping in my tracks as I see Stella leaning over my teammate—my fully-clothed teammate, save for the one arm that’s hanging out of his hoodie. She whips around, her eyes going as wide as saucers while I stand there, breathing like I just ran the goddamn Boston Marathon.
“Hayes?” Austin questions, brows furrowing in confusion as he peeks out from behind her. “Did we have plans today?”
I take in the scene, heart rate gradually slowing when I see a bandage in one of her hands, the other hovering above the stitches that run along his shoulder. Her gloved fingertip shines with what looks to be an antibiotic ointment, and all of a sudden, I feel like a fucking idiot for busting in here like some kind of unhinged FBI agent.
What in the fresh hell is wrong with me?
