Page 3 of Bad Call
I shouldn’t entertain the idea. I made a promise to myself that I would take a few months to try and figure out what I want out of life. After making one of the worst decisions possible in college—one that took me a long time to move on from—I didn’t think I deserved all the happinessI had dreamed of as a kid. My decision impacted not only one future, but two, and I beat myself up for a long time over it. I immersed myself in school, taking the first job that came my way after graduation and working as many hours as I was legally allowed to. I practically ran myself into the ground by never resting because I knew that as soon as I stopped, I’d realize how royally I had fucked up. But seeing Arden so content after years of loneliness gave me hope that maybe, someday, I could be happy again, too. This job sounds a little too good to pass up, so I can’t stop myself from asking for more details.
“What is he recovering from? And who is this guy that he can afford to pay me more than I make on my regular assignments?” It’s no secret that travel nurses make a very decent living. It wasn’t the main reason I chose to do it, but it certainly didn’t hurt knowing that I would be able to not only take care of myself, but put the extra money into a savings account. I’m proud of my little nest egg, which I’ll someday be able to use to build the life I’ve always dreamed of…well,almost.
“He’ll be going in for rotator cuff surgery next week. I’m not able to discuss any other details with you until you sign a nondisclosure agreement because he’s very high profile, but he’s thirty-five years old, in excellent physical shape, and spent a decent stint in the ICU after being injured at work. He suffered a punctured lung that resulted in a pretty bad case of pneumonia. It’s been almost three months since it happened, and doctors are confident that his lungs are finally strong enough to handle the shoulder surgery. His parents are both deceased, he has no siblings, and no significant other. So,he mainly needs someone around to administer medications, check his incision wound for signs of infection, change dressings, and help with anything else he may not be able to do. He’s very independent, so I imagine he’ll probably try to fight you on some things, but your personality is a great match for his. You’re not a pushover, and that’s exactly what he needs.”
“And he’s there in Cleveland?” I ask. I know it’s a big city, but one of the people in it is a ghost from my past, and under no circumstances can I cross paths with him. When I walked away all those years ago, I was given an ultimatum. Either talk out my reservations regarding our future or never speak to him again. The choice wasn’t easy, and I truly thought it was better to end it before the damage was so irreparable that we wouldn’t be able to come back from it. But the longer I was forced to sit with my consequences, the more I realized that I let my own fears and the opinions of my family ruin the best thing that had ever happened to me. It doesn’t change anything now, though. Because in the end, I left—and watching him live out every one of his dreams without me by his side has been the most painful punishment I’ve ever endured.
“He lives about twenty miles outside of the city,” she explains. “His house is in a private area, but it’s not so desolate that delivery services won’t go out there. I know what a hermit you are, so unless you actually want to leave, you won’t have to. Although it may be good for you to get out and have some fun every now and then. Especially since you won’t be far from me. If anything, at least we can do our weekly venting sessions in person.”
I want to tell her everything, but it’s all so fucked. Howdo I say that returning to Cleveland, with my ex-husband—a man she knows nothing about—playing for their professional football team, would turn me into even more of a recluse than I already am? I thought I got off scot-free with my assignment at the clinic ending just weeks before he was drafted by the Renegades, but being in such close proximity to him now would have me walking on eggshells every day. It’s bad enough that I’ve seen him online with other women on his arm, but if I saw it in person? That may actually do me in. However, if she’s right, and this guy lives far enough away, I could keep to myself. It’s only eight weeks, max. I can get it over with, bank more money, and figure out my next move in the meantime without my parents breathing down my neck.
“He’s not a creep or anything, right?” I question with a raised brow. “I understand you can’t tell me anything personal without an NDA, but you know him well…and you trust him? If I’m living on his property, I need to know I’m safe.”
She releases a soft breath of understanding. “He’s a great guy, Stell. I promise. I got to know him really well when he was in the ICU, and even though he’s rich and successful, he’d give the shirt off his back to anyone in need. I wouldn’t even think of suggesting this job if I thought it would put you in harm’s way. Like I said, you’ll have the guesthouse to yourself, and I’m only a ten-minute drive from you if you need anything. You’ll also get a chance to meet him before you decide, which I’m sure will put you at ease. Just come here. See if it’s a good fit. If not, you can get right back in your car and head to Pennsylvania.”
She’s right. Cleveland is just a small detour on the way back to Tinsville. I can go there, feel things out, and make a choice after I have all the details. Plus, I miss Lauren, and I’d love to see her. If nothing else, this little pit stop will give us a chance to catch up.
“Put the wine on ice. I’ll see you in about eight hours.”
THREE
EMMETT
“Smile, bro,”Theo says as we sit in the VIP section of Club Tilt. “You’re scaring all the girls away with that resting bitch face of yours.”
I narrow my eyes in his direction, tipping my beer slowly. “I don’t know why you care. You haven’t looked at anyone besides Finley since we got here.” The guy loves to act like he wouldn’t throw himself over the railing into the crowd below just to avoid every woman in the place who isn’t his favorite bottle service girl, but I know better. We’ve been coming here for guys’ night for a few months now, and he still gets tongue-tied around her. Last week, she put two cherries in his whiskey sour instead of one, and he wouldn’t shut up about it for days. It’s annoying, but I remember how it feels to be so head-over-heels for someone that everything they do makes you feel like the luckiest motherfucker in the world, so I can’t really blame him for getting excited.
He scoffs. “I already told you she’s seeing Eric Moss,” he says of the Cleveland Vipers starting point guard. “Thedude’s a total fucking jerk. He acts like she doesn’t even exist when he comes in here, but she’s a big girl. If that’s what she wants, there’s nothing I can do. I just need to find someone else to take my mind off of her, which is why I need you to look a little more warm and welcoming over here.”
A noncommittal hum rolls up my chest in response. If he only knew how familiar I was with the concept—and how it doesn’t fucking work. After Stella left me, I was a mess. Just the thought of touching someone who wasn’t her made me physically ill. I kept that up all through college, refusing to have sex with any of the girls I went out with, just in case she decided to come back. I wanted her to be my first and only, like we had always talked about. The delusional part of me hoped she was doing the same, even though she was the one who decided that building a future with me wasn’t what she wanted.
The day I was drafted to the NFL, I made a vow to myself that I’d start living my life again. I was twenty-one, playing at the highest level, and deserved to experience it all to its fullest. I did everything I could to convince my wife to stay, but she chose another path, and I couldn’t dwell on it forever. So, I tried.
The first time I was intimate with a woman who wasn’ther, I spent the entire evening hugging the toilet bowl. I hated myself for the reaction, but it didn’t stop me from scrubbing my body for hours after she left just to get the smell of her perfume off my skin. I cried like a bitch—pathetic and dejected—feeling like I’d never be strong enough to move on. But eventually, it started getting easier to detach emotionally. I never led anyone on. I always letthem know that I wasn’t capable of giving more. Most were okay with that, wanting to use me for pleasure in the same ways I was using them. But there have been a couple who’ve gotten attached. I wish I could be the man they hoped for—one who could give his heart and promise forever—but that part of me died the day I signed my name on that thick, black line. I’ve been fucked beyond repair ever since, so full of cynicism and resentment that I don’t even try anymore. As much as I wish I could regret those months of being married to Stella, and as much as I wish I could forget her, she still occupies a corner of my mind at all times.
“Come on, Calloway,” Maddox says as he plops down onto the seat beside us. “You knowwarmandwelcomingare not in Emmett’s repertoire. He’s only got two modes—laser-focusedandI’ll end your life with my bare hands. There is no in-between. He smirks, taking a pull of his beer as I flip him off. He’s not totally wrong. When I’m on the field, I’m locked in. It’s the only place I can truly let go of all the tension that’s built up inside me, channeling it into something positive. Football saves me from falling into the darkness every week, which is why I’ve been prioritizing these team bonding nights. It wasn’t easy at first, because I hate letting people in, but they’re all decent guys. I’m starting to feel like I can really trust them, and that they’d be there for me if I ever wanted to open up more about my past. I’m not quite there yet, but maybe someday I will be.
Theo leans back, kicking his foot up onto the patent leather ottoman in front of us as he scans the area, no doubt trying to catch a glimpse of Finley. He’s so fucking predictable, but I decide not to goad him any further. If hewants to waste time pretending to be unbothered by the fact that she’s with someone who doesn’t treat her the way he would, that’s on him. I’m in no place to stand on any soapboxes since I’m bound to be a career bachelor.
“I talked to Baker yesterday,” he says. “The doctors said his lungs are strong enough to do the shoulder surgery. He’s going in on Monday.”
Maddox sits forward, elbows resting on his knees as the dark glass bottle hangs haphazardly from his fingers. “One of my teammates in San Francisco had that procedure, and he couldn’t even lift his arm for three weeks. Austin’s parents passed away, and he doesn’t know anyone here besides us. Does he have someone to help him until he’s able to do stuff on his own?”
Theo shrugs. “No clue. He said the tear was larger than they initially thought, so they’re going to keep him in the hospital for a day or two, but I’m not sure what he has planned after that. I guess we should probably ask if he needs anything. I can give him a call tomorrow.”
“I’ll do it,” I cut in, causing them both to turn my way. “I haven’t spent much time getting to know him like I should. I’ll reach out and see if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“Nice,” Maddox replies, pulling his phone from his pocket. A sly grin tugs at the corner of his mouth as he looks at the screen, tapping out what I’m guessing is a text reply. He told us last week that he’s casually seeing someone, and she clearly has him smitten, because even when he is around, he’s got his face buried in the device with a silly look that says he’s completely in love. Maybe spending time with Austin will be a good break from thesemotherfuckers and their sappy bullshit. Between them and Jett, who’s barely come up for air since his girlfriend, Bailey, moved to Cleveland, I could use a friend who’s as painfully single as I am. “I have to go. Let me know what Baker says, and if you need anything from me. I’m happy to help.”
I throw a tight nod in his direction, slapping his outstretched hand before he takes off toward the VIP exit. Theo is the next to go, glancing around one last time and leaving a few one-hundred-dollar bills on the table for Finley. Once he’s gone, I sit there for a couple more minutes with my head back and my eyes closed, preparing myself to return to my cold, empty apartment alone.
FOUR
STELLA
“Rise and shine, sleepyhead,”Lauren says, her hand slapping against the mattress that I passed out on after we finished our second bottle of wine last night. Our catch-up session was much needed, her filling me in on all my old co-workers while I opened up, telling her how I’m feeling about taking on any more travel assignments. She was very supportive, reminding me that it’s okay to change paths. It’s hard not to feel like a failure when I wanted to get out of Pennsylvania so badly, and now I’m about to end up right back where I started. But until I allow myself to find real happiness, alone or with someone else, I feel like I’m running in circles—and I can’t do this forever.
“Nooooo,” I grumble, pulling the blankets over my head. “Let me die in peace.” My stomach roils as I speak, saliva gathering in my mouth while I actively try not to throw up. I’ll admit I went a little overboard, easily putting away an entire bottle of rosé by myself, but knowing that my future is so up in the air has really beenfucking with me. I have plenty of money saved to spend time figuring it out, but the fact that I’m twenty-six and have no idea where I even want to live is making me feel so out of control. Once upon a time, I had everything mapped out. I wanted a husband, children, and a stable job where I was making a difference—none of which I have right now, with only myself to blame. I need to take a step back and make good, solid choices on what comes next. I’m not that eighteen-year-old girl who was terrified of everything that could go wrong. I’m a grown woman whose entire life is going to continue passing her by if she doesn’t reach out and grab it by the balls.
