Page 50 of Rhett
“That you’re interested in Nova.”
“Well, they need to mind their business,” I grouched.
“Since you didn’t deny it, I’ll assume they’re right.”
“She’s attractive,” I snapped.
“And?”
I sighed heavily. “Her scent changed when I was with her last time.”
“And do you finally admit that Nova’s your mate?”
“Yes.” I was done fighting that fact.
“Why the hell aren’t you shouting it to the world?”
I shrugged. “Because I can’t claim her.”
“Can’t? Or won’t?”
“Same thing,” I replied.
“So let me get this straight. You’ve waited your entire life to find your fated mate, and you still refuse to claim her?”
“Yes.”
“That’s bullshit. I know you. There’s more to this than you’re saying.”
“It ain’t complicated, Quinn. I’m not claiming a Hunter.”
“This has nothing to do with her bloodline and everything to do with you still feeling guilty about Maggie’s death.”
“I failed at my one job, which was protecting her.” I white-knuckled the steering wheel. “There ain’t no way I want to go through that shit with Nova.”
He sighed heavily. “You were young, overseas serving your country, when Maggie died. Even if you were here at the time, there was no way you could have known that a Hunter was stalking her. How could you?” He huffed out a breath. “You, of all people, know that when my dad got killed, I was messed up in the head for years. I felt guilt and blame because I was serving, just like you. I wasn’t here for him, and lastly, our parting words when I left the Ridge for the military were angry and bitter. But I learned to cope with my guilt. The bottom line was I learned that I was blaming myself because if I didn’t, then I’d have to accept that the universe is unpredictable. There was nothing I could have done differently that would have changed the outcome of his loss. You have to accept that you never could have known or changed the outcome of Maggie’s passing because things happen every fucking day that are completely outside our control.”
“It’s been years, but the guilt and blame are eating me alive,” I admitted.
“I’ve been there. You know I have. But by holding on to your guilt, you hold on to the misperception that you could have controlled the outcome. Consider what Maggie would tell you about your guilt and blame.”
I knew she wouldn’t want me blaming myself for her death.
“She’d be pissing mad at me using my guilt and blame as a shield to protect myself from claiming Nova.”
“Well, that’s your answer. If you want Nova, claim her. Don’t let fear get in your way.”
I frowned. “How do you deal with being fearful for Imani’s safety all the time?”
“Because I’m not the only one looking out for her safety. The town has you as our Protector. We all were young and inexperienced before the military. We came back as the Protectors of this town. We’re brothers-in-arms, and you always have our back, as we have yours. You will never be alone again. But you have to make up your mind what you’re going to do about Nova. Whether you’re going to court her or not. You’re either all in or all out.”
He was right. For so long, I’d let fear of losing another person I loved rule my life.
He kept talking. “When I met Imani, my wolf was tearing me up inside to claim her. But I made all kinds of stupid excuses about why I shouldn’t pursue her, even when my heart, mind, and animal wanted her. But when I decided to put my heart on the line and tell her what I felt for her, her animal awoke and deemed me a worthy mate. You need to do the same with Nova. If you don’t, you’ll just push her into another shifter’s arms.”
“That shit is not going to happen.” My eyes narrowed. “Nova is mine. If she’ll have me.”
“Well, man up, Protector, and prove that you’re worthy of being her mate.”
