Page 43 of Heartbreak Kings
“Most of them, yeah. There are a few holdouts, like that Carmody guy we ran into on the way in. But most of them have gotten used to me being here. I’ve even made a few friends.” I was on the fence about gushing over Nathaniel. She was anxious about my safety on campus, and she had always scrutinized every single guy who had ever approached me for a date.
Instead, I told her about one result of our time together. “It helps that I kind of helped save everybody’s grade in my astrophysics class.”
“Oh? How did that happen?” She sounded a little excited. It was one of the first times she had since the weather had turned bad. Her depression always got worse the colder and darker it got. At least the money I had sent was helping her deal with the dreariness and deep cold of what seemed to be an eerily premature winter.
I told her about all the errors in the professor’s materials that Nathaniel and I had found. “So basically, I got on the class mailing list, excluded the professor, and warned them all. And I gave them the corrected information we had come up with.” I was proud as hell about it. Nathaniel was right—I could have just let all those guys twist in the wind in response to how they had treated me. But the results had been more than worth the extra effort.
“How did they respond when you helped them like that? I know many of them were against your going at all.” She sounded a little skeptical—like she thought I was trying too hard. I couldn’t blame her. I had nearly avoided going through with it out of a mix of overcaution and spite. But I had, and the results had thrilled me.
“Some of them said thanks, and that was it. Some of them have stayed quiet. One accused me of being a kiss-ass, but he’s a friend of Carmody’s, so I didn’t think much of it. But some others, well, it was amazing.” I took a deep breath. It was now four days after the astrophysics email, and I was still getting reactions. Positive ones.
“What did they do? Don’t leave me hanging here, child!” she scolded cheerfully.
I laughed. “Well, some of them asked why I had done it, and I said they were my classmates and not doing so felt like cheating instead of healthy competition.” They had confronted me in class, four of them, one of them wearing an Alpha Omega pin. “I don’t think they were expecting me to care. But they seemed glad that I did.”
“Good! I didn’t raise you to be nasty or a cheat. So, have they been troubling you since then?”
I winced slightly. I had finally come clean about some problems I was having. Mom didn’t follow my blog that often because of a lack of connectivity, but she had seen my settling-in post with the note on the wall, and that had led to a discussion. But I was still keeping the bulk of my worries from her, knowing she’d take it way harder than she needed to in her current condition. “Not in that class. Carmody’s still out in the snowstorm outside my dorm waving a sign, like I said, but he is down to about half a dozen guys. As for online, well, my fans have my back, and some have even sent some more donations.”
That part, I didn’t know what to think about. There was a tidy pile of money waiting in my donation account, enough that I could have a down payment on a car together soon. It tempted me to just get a bike and muddle through while helping my mom out more and investing most of the rest. I wanted to be smart, and even as chilly as it was out here for a third of the year, the bike would serve me just as well most of the time.
“Oh, that’s lovely! Now, don’t you go handing it all to me. You have your own needs.” She was scolding me preemptively. I laughed a little.
“Oh, Mama, don’t worry about that. Your being healthy and happy is one of my needs. Anyway, I’m saving nearly all of it until I figure out what to do.”
I suddenly heard a firm knock at my door, different from Nathaniel’s gentle rapping. “Looks like I’ve got a visitor.” I sighed. “I’ll call you back.”
“Visitor? Good. You spend too much time alone over there. If it’s Billy, say hello for me, all right?”
“I will, Mama. I love you.” I ended our call just as the knock came again. “Hold on,” I called out cheerfully, walking to the door. I peered out the peephole, and my cheerful smile fled.
It was Blake. And he did not look pleased.
I sighed, then braced myself and unlocked the door. He had every reason to be angry with me. I had broken our date, then stopped returning his phone calls. I had good reasons for both, but I owed him the full explanation. Not just the half-assed apology I had made over the phone last night.
“Hi,” I breathed.
“We need to talk,” he demanded.
“I know,” I replied softly. “Come in. Let’s not do this out in the hallway.”
I let him in and locked the door. “I’m sure you’re pissed at me,” I blurted before he could start. I went over to my bed and sat on its edge, offering him the chair. “You have a right to be. I hope you don’t hate me.”
He blinked in surprise and then scoffed. “If I hated you, I would dismiss you. You would never hear from me again.”
“Well, then I’m doubly glad you’re here. I want to clear the air. And when we last talked, I hadn’t slept for two days.” My eyes searched his face. He searched mine. “Part of why I wasn’t up to explaining myself.”
He tensed slightly. “Why? Nathaniel?”
“That’s only part of it. And not in the way you mean. We haven’t seen each other in almost a week. I needed to recover from midterms. I got the worst goddamn flu right at the end of exams. Got everything turned in and got good grades, but then I crashed hard.” I winced apologetically at him as he settled into my computer chair.
His body relaxed. “I thought you were avoiding me.”
“I kind of was,” I admitted. “Once I realized I had missed our date, I didn’t know what to do. I’m new at dating.”
He sat back in the chair, blinking rapidly as he folded his arms. “Sorry? I don’t understand.” He seemed incredulous that I hadn’t had a serious relationship before.
“I’ve never had a steady boyfriend. Now you and Nathaniel and three other guys, all of whom have closer relationships with one another than with me, want to date me. Seriously.” My cheeks got a little warm.
