Page 40 of Heartbreak Kings
I drifted, more relaxed than I had ever been with another person in the room. Part of me was a little shocked with myself, but that voice in the back of my head that wanted to tell me I had taken a colossal risk was barely audible now. Contented, I closed my eyes.
When I opened them again, Nathaniel had gone to my attached bathroom to rid himself of the condom. He returned, still unselfconsciously nude. His skin was flushed, his cock still at half-mast, and his eyes gleamed as he eyed me.
Suddenly self-conscious, I glanced down at myself, to discover he had folded one side of the comforter over me. I didn’t realize why until I glanced through the slats of the window beside me and realized that it was snowing again. Even with the comforter over me, my nipples were tight from the chill. Had I lost time? “I dozed off,” I mumbled.
“For a little while.” He sounded almost smug, and I lifted an eyebrow before sighing and lounging back against my pillow.
He paused, then moved toward me and settled on the edge of the bed, ignoring the cold. “Are you all right?”
I blinked up at him, then sat up again, drawing my knees to my chest, wrapping the comforter around me and settling my head on my knees.
“I’m just not used to this,” I mumbled.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were a virgin?” He brushed his fingers over my exposed shoulder, and I shivered, my skin tingling.
“I didn’t want to make a big deal about it.”
“Thank you for allowing me to be your first, Sabine.” He kissed me gently.
I swallowed hard, wondering why my eyes were suddenly stinging from restraining tears. It took me a little while of searching myself as he slid behind me on the bed, but finally, I grasped it. It was the feeling I got when I came in from the cold and only then realized how chilled I had gotten. The feeling was something I had been denying ever since I had come to this place. Loneliness. Sexual frustration, I was used to. All those weeks of slogging through everything alone, with only Billy, Mom, and a few blog fans to break my isolation, had taken a slow and unhappy toll on me.
I closed my eyes, feeling my lashes grow damp, and went quiet as I struggled with my emotions. “I’ve been alone a lot,” I admitted finally. “Ever since I came here. I have one friend, one. And all these people trying to force me out. I’m strong, but…” But not invulnerable. People weren’t meant to deal with this much isolation.
“I’m sorry.” He wrapped his arms around me, his long limbs well up to the task without squeezing me too hard. “Most of the students must have been terrible. We’ve been terrible too.”
“Yeah. And now you’re not. You’re the opposite, and I’m just trying to adjust.” And in doing so, I had to face facts. I had to face just how much having almost everyone try to push me out had hurt. I shivered.
His grip tightened on me. “It will be all right,” he promised me.
I gulped and nodded slightly, but the comfort made the contrast between now and what I had gone through all that much sharper.
He wasn’t shivering or complaining about the chill next to the window, but I could see gooseflesh rising on his forearms. I let him in under the comforter, and we cuddled for a while, bare skin warm against bare skin. Now and again, his breath blew hot against the back of my neck, stirring up a fresh tingle that ran throughout my body.
“Thank you,” I offered once the pain inside had subsided a little. “For everything. I’m glad you came over.” Weird that I had seen him as some cold asshole before. He still seemed almost unnervingly stoic and calm, but now, I knew better. And I was glad to have met the man he was behind that.
“I’m happy to have helped, but I fear I’ve disrupted your study session.” I felt his chuckle against my back more than heard it. “I should probably get going before I disrupt your day further.”
Suddenly, the loneliness inside yawned open again like a wound. I grabbed his forearms and hung on to them, and he went still. “Only if you want to,” I whispered.
He was quiet for a few seconds. “I don’t want to. I would rather order pizza and then make love to you again.”
I pulled away just enough to stare at him. “Then do it.”
He smiled slowly. “If that is what you wish.”
“It is.” My heart was pounding. I’d hate being left alone when I felt this vulnerable.
He snuggled up to me again and kissed the back of my neck. “Your wish is my command.”
Chapter 16
Blake
“You son of a bitch!”The words came out of me all on their own, before I even realized how angry I was.
Nathaniel stared back at me, his expression damnably placid. “Please calm down,” he said. “There’s really no reason for you to be so upset.”
“No reason?” Never in all our years of knowing each other had I wanted to punch him in the teeth this badly. He was standing there smugly in the door to the entry hall, bag over his shoulder, acting like nothing wrong had happened, like I was being unreasonable. But I knew the truth now, as did the others, and Nathaniel was going to answer for it.
