Page 35 of Heartbreak Kings
“I’ll do it on one condition,” he offered in a businesslike tone. “I want you to report the whole truth when you do so, especially once Carmody violates the protection order and goes to jail. I want it known that we aided you in protecting yourself.”
“I have no problem giving you due credit,” I pointed out a little breathlessly. I wasn’t used to anyone running to my rescue—financially, legally, or otherwise. The only one who cared enough to was Mama, and she just didn’t have the money most of the time. “I keep telling you I intend to be objective.”
“Good.” He hesitated a moment, then questioned in a tender voice, “How are you doing?”
I swallowed hard, feeling a flush of warmth go through me at the question. “I’m fine. Gearing up for midterms.” I took a deep breath. “It’s been hard to study with all these distractions.” I meant Carmody and his pals, but they weren’t actually the biggest distraction in my life right now. Instead, the big distraction was on the phone with me. Blake and his four companions.
I didn’t know why, but I hadn’t realized just how attracted I was to them until Daniel had come to me with his apology. If I hadn’t been drawn to them, all I would have felt on learning they were playing mind games with me would have been outrage and the desire for revenge. But that wasn’t all I had felt. I had been hurt. Disappointed. And suddenly very aware of my loneliness and frustrated desires.
They hadn’t been just assholes. They had been attractive, charismatic assholes that I still wanted to impress, even after walking home in a rage from dealing with their bullshit. And when Daniel had then caught up with me later, apologized, and explained the situation, I had felt a little better about what happened. I was still processing the idea that they were all interested in me and apparently, somehow, weren’t jealous of one another.
“I see,” Blake mused. “If need be, I can send you a tutor. I feel partly responsible for your current distraction.”
I opened my mouth to tell him no, that it was fine. That I didn’t blame him because he and the others were now haunting my dreams at night. The sexual dreams that made me wake up with damp panties, tingling skin, and disappointment that it hadn’t been real. All that came out of my mouth instead was, “Oh?”
“Yes. I feel I need to apologize personally. I know Daniel ran some interference and explained the situation to you, but I feel responsible for what happened.”
That was a change, a welcome one, but it gave me whiplash. It was like he had dropped the “trust me just on my word, for I am flawless” act for something more honest.
“How so?” I didn’t know if that dinner and its emotional push-pull had been his idea or someone else’s, but if he wanted to wear the bull’s-eye, I wouldn’t complain. I had found it telling that the guy who had approached me to apologize first had been the one who needed to the least.
“I signed off on that course of action,” he revealed. “I did it without a full understanding of you, what you are going through, or what the consequences would be.”
Okay, yeah, that’s progress.
Blake’s arrogance was his least attractive feature, and his setting it aside to any degree was promising. I bit down lightly on my lip, my heart beating faster. “Why did you do it?”
“Because we were under tremendous pressure to rid the campus of you. Not just from Carmody, but from several other pledges, first-years, and donors.” He paused, letting that sink in.
I sighed. “Your parents.”
“Yes.” His tone stayed flat. “There was a financial and social gun to our heads, and we capitulated without full possession of the facts.”
“What changed?” I couldn’t tell if it was the journalist or the woman in me that was more curious.
“You.” He cleared his throat. “It has become clear you are not the problem here. You represent the problem.”
“What is the problem, aside from women being on the campus?” This was, again, different from what I had expected from him.
“The problem is the administration’s refusal to listen to our concerns or even to provide us with a forum to air them.” I heard rustling and creaking as if he were shifting in his seat. “You are here because you saw an opportunity to go to college. If you were not here, they would replace you with another woman in the same basic position. It’s very clear that our administration has exploited your desperate circumstances to turn you into a political pawn, and that is entirely on them.”
“I see.”That’s part of what I have been trying to tell you. But there is no point in bringing that up again now.“Is there anything else?”
“Yes.” Another pause. He seemed to weigh every word especially carefully. “Going through that farce of a dinner made me realize that we were all wrong. That not only did your presence disrupt very little, but that we—I—do not want you to leave.”
My mouth went dry. “Oh.” But then I frowned. “But what about your donors? Your parents?”
“We have wealth of our own. And it’s time to cut the cord. If my father or Carmody’s parents or others withdraw support, we will step into the gap. Whatever the case, the administration should not punish you for their mistakes.”
I let out a shivery breath. “Thank you.”
“I would like the opportunity to make it up to you. Not by helping you protect yourself from Carmody, but by assisting in your studies. And by replacing the meal that I helped to ruin.”
The tiny hesitation in his voice intrigued me. “Are you asking me out on a date?” I challenged—fairly gently, but a challenge, nonetheless.
“Yes.”
I huffed out my breath, thinking of Billy’s warnings, Mom’s fears, my own misgivings. After last time, I didn’t know what he might have up his sleeve. But I was still curious. I still wanted him, despite my best judgment.
