Page 11 of Twisted Lies 3
“Neither.” She shrugged. “Ever since my mom started getting serious with that lawyer Erika hooked her up with—”
I choked on a mouthful of food. “They’re serious?”
Ariana Bellisario, Jade’s mother, was worse than both of us when it came to men. After her nasty divorce, she’d kept men at a distance, but that wouldn’t stop her from taking an occasional lover when it suited her.
“Yep, very.”
My mouth fell open. “Wow!”
“If she can change, maybe there’s still hope for us.”
There was a hardening in my stomach. “I doubt it.”
Jade’s mouth twisted into a grimace. “Have you ever thought about where we would be today if we weren’t so emotionally fucked up?”
The bartender lingered while removing our glasses and presenting two fresh drinks.
Pointedly, I eyed him, urging him to keep it moving. He grinned sheepishly.
Turning my head back to Jade, I replied, “Excuse me? I’m not emotionally fucked up. You are.”
She snorted. “Okay, so now you’re delusional. Our idea of a perfect date is fucking a guy until we pass out and then kicking him out before daylight.”
The bartender choked.
Jade winked at him coyly. “Interested?”
His pupils dilated. “Sounds like a match made in heaven,” he responded before striding away.
I glowered at his retreating back and then looked back at Jade. “All confirming my original assessment. You’re the one who’s emotionally challenged, not me.”
“I’m about to turn twenty-seven.” She looked off into the distance for a moment, and then she scrutinized me. “And I think it’s time for a change.”
I propped my elbow on the bar, placing my chin into my palm. “I’ve only known one good man in my entire life, and that was my dad. He was way more man than Grace deserved.”
“Your mother is a nutjob.” Jade curled her upper lip in disdain. “And my sperm donor screwed me over big time. Now, every time I meet a guy, I can’t help questioning whether he wants me for my fame, money, family name, or all of it. That’s a really fucked-up way to think.”
I took a sip of my drink. “Really, I’m good with my life, Jade. I have a best friend who’s like my sister, Ariana, who’s the mother that I never had, a beautiful home, and a successful career. I’m damn happy.”
Jade tilted her head to the side. “Are you?”
I put down my drink. “Am I what?”
“Happy?”
I formed my fingers into a steeple, considering the question. “Yes.” I scowled at my almost empty glass and then gazed over at her. “Have I thought about what it would be like to roll over and bump into a warm body instead of a cold, empty bed? The thought has crossed my mind.” I left out the wordlately. “But honestly, I don’t think I’m built for that level of commitment.”
Jade sighed. “I think that’s what we’ve been telling ourselves for so long that we actually believe it. This much I know. Someday, I want kids and stability. Don’t you want children one day?”
My mouth went dry. “No,” I answered firmly. “I don’t trust myself not to turn into a monster, cruel and unloving, like Grace. I would never do that to a child.”
My life growing up had been an emotional roller coaster, all due to my mother, Grace. Dad had done the best he could to shield me from her verbal and emotional abuse, but still, it just hadn’t been enough.
“Grace is a bitch. You’re nothing like her.”
“I hope not.” My pulse sped up. “She never loved me or my dad, and it changed us for the worse. We both morphed into people who lived just to please her—hoping if we changed, if we could be everything she wanted, she would love us. It took me years to learn loving myself was good enough. I don’t need a man to validate me—not now, not ever.”
“Fuck validation. I’m talking about having the right man to love you for who you are. A partnership of equals.”
