Page 69 of Nauti Boy (Nauti 1)

“I know what’s going on, Son,” he finally sighed heavily. “You think you and those two hardheaded cousins of yours are the only men in this family to think they know what they want in a woman? And in her pleasure?” Ray frowned heavily, his eyes darkening. “You’re not. I’ve tried to warn you since I first caught wind of what was going on, and you’ve never wanted to listen. ”

Rowdy watched his father curiously then. Through the years, there had been whispers that Ray Mackay and his best friend had been up to some sexual little games, but nothing concrete and nothing his dad had ever confirmed.

Ray grunted mockingly. “Your generation thinks they know everything. You don’t. Mine knew what a reputation was, and we knew what should be kept private and what should be flaunted. Women like Calista James were steered clear of except for a certain few. We knew our actions would always backfire on us, if not at the time, then later, on our wives, our children. I thought I taught you that, but maybe I failed there too. ”

Ray shook his head as he nodded to the chairs Maria and Kelly had sat in earlier. “Come over here, Rowdy. Let’s talk. ”

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Saving face,” his father sighed. “Those two cousins of yours have waited nearly as long as you have for Kelly. They don’t love her like you do, but when you yank something like that out of a man’s hands, he’s bound to get pissed. And you don’t want that kind of pissed from men you’ve been as close to as brothers. ”

Ray leaned forward in his chair, staring back at Rowdy intently. Damn, that look had the ability to send him right back to his teenage years and the memory of his father’s chastisements.

He wasn’t a teenager anymore, but at the moment he felt as uncertain as one.

Rowdy turned his gaze to his drink, wondering what the hell he was supposed to say. He’d already figured out the fact that he was making a hell of a mistake—he didn’t need his father to point that out to him.

“It’s tough, being as close to men as you are to Dawg and Natches,” Ray sighed. “You three are closer than brothers, you always have been. ” He shook his head, staring down at the glass in his hand as he grimaced painfully. “I had a friend like that once, Rowdy. ” He lifted his eyes then. “A damned good friend. ”

Rowdy stared back at him, knowing what was coming. Knowing he didn’t want to hear it.

“It was before your mother. ” Ray cleared his throat. “And there was this woman. One that made the blood boil in my veins, made me want forever. But I was dumb. Brick dumb. I thought I’d always be the man I was then. That what I wanted sexually would always be a part of my life. And I shared that woman. Because I thought that pleasure was the greatest gift I could give her…”

He tossed back the rest of his drink before meeting Rowdy’s eyes once again.

“Kelly should have been your sister, Rowdy. If I hadn’t been so stupid, I wouldn’t have lost Maria all those years ago. She chose the lover willing to love just her, rather than his own selfishness. Willing to give her all of himself, without the childish need to have it all his own way. ”

Rowdy’s jaw bunched tightly.

“Dad, let it go. ” Rowdy shook his head sharply.

“You’re figuring it out, I can see that in your eyes. The same way I thought I was figuring it out. But I let that bond I thought I had with my buddy get in the way. I was torn between the loss of friendship, and my own wants. And I thought the woman would be there either way. It wasn’t the friend I lost, Rowdy. It was the woman. And trust me, when it comes right down to it, Kelly is no different than her mother. ”

Rowdy breathed in deeply. Damn, he hadn’t wanted to hear this. He lifted the whisky before tipping more of the liquor into his glass.

His father was silent then, finishing his drink as Rowdy sipped from his.

“I love her,” Rowdy finally breathed out roughly. “I didn’t expect this though. ”

“Love changes us, Son. ” Ray rose to his feet, crossing the room slowly to set his empty glass on the bar. “Don’t make the same mistake I did, Rowdy. Once it’s over that first time, once you’ve let another man claim what’s yours and yours alone, you lose a part of your soul. Getting i

t back is hell. A hell I hope you never know. ”

Rowdy stared back at his father silently, finally hearing what the other man had always tried to teach him. What was fair, what he wanted alone, wasn’t all that mattered. He had begun learning it in the Marines, but it was slapping him upside the head now.

“James Salyers was still a friend when he died, Rowdy. And I grew up and learned some damned hard lessons. Maria gave me a second chance, but that chance came at a cost. A very high cost. The daughter that should have been mine came from another man, and the son I love more than life is about to fuck up not just his own life, but that girl’s as well. Watching it and knowing I can’t stop it is hell. Remember that while you struggle between what you love and what you want. ”

As Rowdy watched his father leave the room, a heavy sigh slipped past his lips. Maria’s objections to his relationship made more sense now. He shook his head, realizing how well his father, James Salyers, and Maria had kept that secret. Reputations. Theirs was intact, but his wasn’t. And now, he was risking Kelly’s as well.

Kelly was awake when he returned to the bedroom a little after midnight. Sleep wasn’t coming, no matter how hard she sought it. Each time she closed her eyes she saw…herself…surrounded by the Mackay cousins, their hands touching her as pleasure whipped around her. But it wasn’t pleasure she felt in the memory. She felt the dark swirl of shame.

The same emotions she had felt each time she swore she wasn’t waiting one day longer on Rowdy and she was going to find someone to love her. To stick around and be with her. Each time she had tried, each time she had attempted to allow another man to touch her, shame had eaten her alive for days later.

The door closed behind him, the click of the lock causing her to open her eyes, to stare through the darkness as his shadow moved toward the bed.

God, she loved him. If she could give him his every desire then she would do it in a second, but some things she knew she couldn’t do. Dawg and Natches she couldn’t do. And she had no idea how to tell him. No idea how to broach what she knew could destroy the relationship she had dreamed of.

“Everything’s quiet,” he said softly as he pulled his shirt from his body.

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