Page 44 of Let it Breathe
"How much are you taking home from this little coup of yours?" I asked.
"Chai, I didn't overthrow a government. I saved our family’s future." His eyes teared up.
"By destroying mine." I gnawed on my bottom lip. "How much?"
"Nothing. I ..." He lowered his head. "I didn't feel right about taking anything since I'm the reason this mess happened in the first place."
I studied my brother’s face. I saw the pain and anguish in his eyes, but something else was there as well—hope. He had carried around the stress of the world along with my dad for years. His confession was the last bit he held onto. He actually looked lighter. I felt like I had been pummeled and then buried under two tons of rocks.
"Here." I handed him back the check. "Give it to Mom and Dad."
"Chai."
"I can't forgive you. Not now. Maybe later, but not now. If you think what you did was right for our parents, then I'll believe you." I stepped inside, but he grabbed my arm.
"Thank you." He gave me an awkward hug. I didn't pull away. "Listen, you don't have to leave the business. I know how much you love it. Any number of vineyards around here and in Napa would hire you in a second."
"Maybe." I walked back inside, and he followed. "What are you going to do?"
"I'm selling my place. Maybe get a little place on the beach near San Fran or San Diego. I'm going to do nothing for a while." He ran his hands over his face and grunted. "I'm tired of being responsible for others. I just want to worry about myself for a minute."
"Well, good luck with that." I walked toward the door. I wanted him to leave but didn't want to actually kick him out.
"Have you talked to Donovan?" he asked.
"No, why?" I didn't want to talk about that either.
"I don't know." He opened the front door. "If you do talk to him, tell him thanks for the offer."
"What offer?" I narrowed my eyes.
"He offered to pay off the debt. He didn't tell you?"
I shook my head.
"It would have given us a chance to at least wait for a better buyer and give us all a chance to benefit from the sell. It was just a few days too late."
My heart pounded in my chest. I reached out for the frame to steady myself.
"How did he know about it?" I asked.
"I'm sure his people found out when they looked into the company." CJ looked over at me. "Obviously, he didn't tell you."
"Why wouldn't he tell me?" I looked up at him.
"I don't know. Maybe he was trying to protect you."
"Protect me by making me hate him."
"He didn't want you to hate me."
All of sudden, I couldn't breathe.
"He is a good guy. Just … if you talk to him, tell him I said that."
I nodded.
CJ leaned in, kissed me on the cheek, and then left.
I shut the door and crawled into bed. This time, I didn't sleep. I wept.
