“I tried to kill the boy,” I admit, continuing my terrible confession. “The last thing my mother ever saw was his blood on my hands. It broke her right before she died.”
Even now, I wish the bastard were dead. I should’ve killed him years ago, but he joined a rival Camorra clan, and murdering him would start a war. One day, I’ll exact my revenge. I’ve craved it for so long that I’m sure how to live without my vendetta. It’s given me purpose. Once I’m powerful enough, I’ll put him in the ground.
My mother would be ashamed of the man I’ve become.
Evelyn shushes me gently.
“You’re not responsible,” my angel repeats, a firm promise. “The boy who shot them is the only one to be blamed for their deaths. You tried to defend your family, just like you defended me.”
I look at her with awe. “You’re not afraid of me after what you saw me do to those men?”
She shivers, but her gaze is steady and earnest on mine.
“No, I’m not afraid of you, Massimo. I never want to see anything like that again, but you protected me. You saved me.”
As long as she’s with me, I can’t promise that she’ll never witness violence.
But I can’t let her go, not even now that I realize the depth of my sins. She’s looking at me like I’m a good man. I’ll do anything to keep her, to make her mine again.
Evelyn belongs to me, body and soul. In time, she’ll surrender her heart willingly. I’ll settle for nothing less.
Chapter 31
Evelyn
Massimo doesn’t take his hands off me for the entire trip back to Mexico City. Stefano gives us privacy during the flight, and as soon as we return to the safety of his high rise, Massimo whisks me back to our suite.
Ever since he confessed his feelings of guilt this morning, he’s been quiet but intense. Being the center of Massimo’s universe is addictive, and I don’t want his shining eyes to waver from my face.
The trauma I endured last night is probably contributing to my neediness today, but I can’t bring myself to care that I’m just as fixated on him as he is on me. I need his strength, his grounding touch, to keep me from tumbling into the darkness of what I suffered.
I was a fool to try to run away from him. At the time, it seemed like my only option.
But what’s waiting for me back in Albuquerque?
A shell of a life, the remnants of a painful past and the lost future that I thought I’d spend with George.
I’m not sure of the right path to take. Committing myself to Massimo means accepting a place in his criminal underworld.I glimpsed his awful reality in Colombia, and it was horrific enough to drive me away from him.
But I don’t want to leave him. He looks at me like he needs me more than his next breath, and he promised to be better for me. He swore that he’ll be more communicative and treat me with respect.
I still need to see more proof of that through his actions, but I suspect he’ll prove it to me soon enough. Massimo always keeps his promises, and he’s a man of action. He doesn’t offer me empty words; he shows me who he is.
Even if he is capable of unspeakable violence, he’s still my dark protector.
I lean into him as we enter the bedroom, going up onto my toes to claim a deep, desperate kiss. I need to join with him, to reassure myself that we’re both alive and safe in each other’s arms.
I fumble at his shirt, roughly tugging the soft cotton up his muscular torso to reveal his powerful body. He strips it off and resumes our kiss, tearing at my clothes in his desperation to touch me. Within seconds, we’re both naked.
I sigh into his mouth, calm settling over me as his bare skin caresses mine.
“I need you,” he murmurs against my mouth, neither of us wanting to break the kiss.
“Yes,” I pant. “I want you.”
“I don’t think I can be gentle,” he confesses, nipping at my lower lip.
I gasp at the small flare of pain and tip my head back, welcoming more of his savage claim.