Page 37 of Rule 3: Never Fake Marry the Coach's Son
I take my marriage certificate out of my gym bag because I knew he would want to see it. I slide the blue-and-white certificate over the table.
Vince snatches it up, scanning the ornate text. “Fuck.”
I blink. I might be new to the US and its culture, but I’m pretty sure it’s not common practice for lawyers charging several hundred dollars an hour to swear at their clients.
“Is there a problem?” Oskar’s voice quavers.
“You said this would be easier if I had a significant other to marry,” I point out to Vince.
“I meant a girlfriend.”
Oskar stiffens beside me. I press my knee against his until the tension eases from his shoulders.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Heat rises in my chest. “Gay marriage is legal!”
“But gay marriage is for gay people,” Vince says. “Which you’re not.”
“Are you bisexual?” Daniela asks.
I blink. No one has asked me that before. I’ve never considered it. “I’m not...”
Vince’s face pales. “Don’t answer that question.”
“But—”
“We need plausible deniability.” Vince’s knuckles whiten around his pen. “I’m pretty sure we all know what you were going to say, so just... be silent.”
“What’s wrong?” Oskar asks.
“Everything.” Vince drags a hand down his face. “You made a fraudulent marriage. The US government doesn’t take kindly to being lied to. Immigration fraud is a federal offense.”
“And,” Coach adds, his voice tight, “you involved the Blizzards.”
“People will think it highly convenient that you married the coach’s son,” Vince continues. “They’ll think the Blizzards arranged this.”
“Oskar is my best friend.”
“You couldn’t have married a woman unrelated to the team?” Vince asks. “You seem to know many of them. You’re in the papers with them all the time.”
“I haven’t dated anyone for months.”
Oskar’s head snaps up, surprise flickering across his face.
“I don’t think this is any of your business,” I continue.
“You made it your business when you married someone from this organization,” Coach says.
“And my business since I’ve been giving you legal advice,” Vince says, his voice miserable. “You cannot conduct fraud against the US government.”
“This will be a huge scandal when it breaks,” Daniela says. “You’re not only breaking federal law, you’re making a mockery of same-sex marriage.”
I frown. “That’s not right. I would never do that. My best friends are gay.”
“But you’re not,” Daniela says.
I’m silent.
“So the problem is people won’t believe we married for love,” Oskar says, his voice steady despite the tremor in his hands.
