“Tea, ladies?” Marcel beams at us when we come to the kitchen. He hands us each a cup of tea.
When Val takes a sip from hers, she starts coughing, her eyes watering. “What kind of tea is that?”
Marcel blinks. “Oops! Might have mixed up the cups.”
Harmony sniffs at her tea and rolls her eyes. “Here, Valerie, take mine. I will drink yours.”
“You really have the concentration span of a butterfly,” Jazz complains to her brother.
“Hey, don’t bully me,” he pouts.
We giggle at his silly pout. Being with family and friends helps diffuse my own problems for the moment. The days are always filled with distractions. It’s the nights I fear.
When I lay down and close my eyes, my thoughts are free to roam. These are the moments I dread the most.
Yellow Eyes
*MARIUS*
Iwakeupwitha pounding headache. Weird… because I didn’t even drink last night. I was so tired from training that I ended up heading to bed early for once. Today, I have to accompany Liam for work, and unfortunately, we are heading to Moon Blood of all packs. To Celine. Does she know I’m coming? Maybe she requested my presence on purpose? Maybe this is all part of some elaborate scheme of hers?
As I’m slowly dragging myself out of bed, I feel something stir in my mind.Cyrus!?
Yes.
I’m so relieved to hear his voice. I know we aren’t really getting along at the moment, but my wolf is still a part of me and my soul. To have him go silent for so long is concerning.Where have you been!? I know you hate me right now, and it’s not the first time you’ve refused to talk to me. But I couldn’t even feel your presence at times.
I don’t know,he says in a matter-of-fact tone.It was as if I were sleeping.
Sleeping?
Yes, I felt so tired. I closed my eyes, and when I woke up again, days had passed.He pauses.Have you talked to our mate?
No,I say shortly.
I can’t believe you,he states. For the first time, he doesn’t sound mad, but disappointed. Something in my chest tightens at the tone of his voice.
You know my reasons,I mutter.
I do,he says.But you need to understand that I don’t share them. I will go back to rest.
Wait!I call out.Already?
I’m tired,he says, and he indeed sounds tired, much to my worry.Marius, I’m tired. Deal with your stuff alone for a while.
With that, he’s gone again, and no matter what I do or say to bring him back, he won’t respond. I can hardly sense his presence. At least I know he is still there this time, but his being so tired and retreating so fast worries me to no end. Cyrus and I might have our issues, but I need him. He is the only one who kept me sane for years. Without him, I can feel the control slip through my fingers more and more.
It’s still early, so instead of getting lost in my thoughts again, I pad to the kitchen and prepare myself some coffee. Then I grab my sketchbook and sit down at the kitchen table. I haven’t drawn or painted anything in forever. Mom loves my art and used to plaster the whole pack house back in Silverlake with it.
But ever since I found my mate, my muse has left me completely. I sigh, opening the sketchbook and searching for an empty space. I start scribbling and drawing mindlessly without even paying attention. When I look at what I’ve just drawn, a pair of eyes are staring back at me. Yellow, spiteful, scary. What!? No! I rip the page out and throw it in the trash. Fuck it! I shouldn’t have tried to work on my art at all. For the rest of the morning, I just sit there drinking my coffee, trying to regain some of my composure and strength.
I don’t join the others for breakfast today. It’s not compulsory to eat meals together, and we can all grab food whenever and wherever we want. Today, I grab a sandwich on my way outside to meet with Liam and whoever else will join us for our visit to Moon Blood.
“Good morning,” I say to the small group. There’s Liam, Dante, and Aryanna waiting for me.
“Nice to see your sleep-deprived face,” Aryanna jokes.
“Good morning,” Liam says before I can even think about how to answer Aryanna. Looking at him now, I feel something inside me churn painfully. He is still so patient with me, always was. And I can’t help but hurt him over and over again. Yet, no matter what I say or do, he always has my back. I don’t deserve him.