Page 33 of Severed Rivalry
Ayla: I would’ve done it, you know? Choosing between you two. The guilt for being the one to do it would’ve eaten me, but I would’ve made the right choice.
Ayla: *You* are the right choice, if you didn’t get that meaning.
Ayla: And it’s not just future and past stuff, where I have more time with you. Nor was it his expectation that I would choose him. What a fucker to expect that I would sentence you to death? What kind of father does that?
Ayla: I wish I could unsend that. I mean I can, but you know what I mean. It’s not like I think he hates you. He’s just so damn selfish and ridiculous. What father wouldn’t lay down his own life to protect his children? Apparently, Seamus fucking Murphy, that’s who.
Ayla: That’s not about you. You’re an incredible man. He’s selfish and stupid and ridiculous.
Ayla: I can’t help but wonder if he’s the problem with so much of our lives. How does Mom deal with it?
Ayla: I trust you’re on DND. Otherwise, I’m sure you’d have texted back. I hope the drugs are good. I hope you wake rested. I hope you heal quickly. Thank you for coming for me.
Ayla: I’m broken that we ended up in this mess. Coffee in the morning. Unless that sounds terrible to you and then you can have anything you want. Corinne’s a good cook.
Ayla: Good night. Sleep tight. Love you, big brother.
Below that stream of consciousness text thread is a missed call from Sariah and one lone text.
Angel: I don’t want to bother you, but you said you’d call yesterday. You’ve never not been a man of your word, and it’s been two days. My calls go directly to voicemail. I see your bubbles, but nothing else. Are you okay?
I look below it and see the message I’d typed out:Hope you have a great day. Sorry I didn’t call last night. I’ll explain tonight.There it sits with the arrow highlighted to hit send. Ready but unsent from yesterday morning. Or was it afternoon?
I quickly hit return to move it down the thread and try like hell to come up with an explanation of why I haven’t said a single word to the woman I thought of so often yesterday. The one I worried if I’d led those criminals to. The woman who never left my mind or my heart even after fourteen years.
Me: There’s a good reason, but there’s no good excuse for leaving you hanging. I’m sorry. I started the text below and never hit send yesterday around lunch time. I’ll explain when I can.
Hope you have a great day. Sorry I didn’t call last night. I’ll explain tonight.
Me: That was a crap text. Something bad went down yesterday. There’s no other reason I wouldn’t have reached out. Suffice it to say, I need a few days before I can see you again. I can’t believe I’m going to say this after I gave you such shit about it. It’s not you. It’s me. Honestly, I mean it. It’s NOT you.
Sariah
It’s not you. It’s me.
I know he didn’t just it’s-not-you-it’s-me me after all the crap he gave me.
I won’t even dignify that with a response.
I turn my phone upside down on my desk and angrily tap at my keyboard. The good news about my job is diving down the security rabbit hole tends to consume my thoughts and my time.
It’s after lunch before I poke my head up and allow my thoughts to meander back to the man I’ve spent way too much time thinking about since Thursday night, and before that too.
Cian: Radio silence does not bode well for me. So, in the spirit of transparency, here goes… My business went south yesterday, and not like New Mexico. Like the pits-of-hell south. My job—or what’s left of it—rests with my father, and I want nothing to do with it.
Cian: That hell included some things I won’t discuss over text, but I had a moment during which I thought I may have jeopardized your family. That thought crushed me. I don’t think I have, but your cyber security/stalking skills wouldn’t be amiss if you gave a little extra focus to potential traffic around you, Renée, and Rosie.
Well, fuck. I can’t imagine worse than what I’ve lived through.
Not true. I so can… seeing my daughter live through it. Seeing fear in her eyes. That’s worse.
How could I take my eyes off the prize and allow myself not to consider the risks? Dammit.
Cian: I’m so, so sorry if anything I did risked you. I know how firmly you guard your family and privacy (or at least I can assume after what you’ve told me), and I hate that I could play even a small part in you feeling ill at ease. If you’re researching, here are some keywords to add. Do you do keywords? I don’t know how this works.
KW: Laos, Murphy Enterprises, Lakewood, LEC, Cian Murphy, Seamus Murphy, Ayla Murphy Barone.
Keywords aren’t even on my radar in pen testing. But regarding cyber security, they give me a bit to work with.
