Page 153 of Severed Rivalry
“Well, coffee is definitely not the answer.” She lifts her steamy mug in a fake toast before taking a sip.
“There are mountain lions occasionally out here.”
“Not surprising, but I haven’t seen any this morning.”
“Eleanor usually makes their presence known.”
“Last I checked, Eleanor was snuggled up with Renée in a pink explosion.”
“Good.” I take a sip of my own Joe and wait. She’s had a lot of changes in the last several weeks. I expected more jealousy, but my girl took it like a Murphy and just opened her heart to more love and more family.
Sariah pushes back and takes another sip as the first rays of light strain for the horizon. Colorado summers are the best on the planet.
“What woke you, Angel?”
She speaks to the trees when she responds. “I wanted to check on Née. Chances are if I’m having nightmares, she is too.”
There are no words for that. What we went through was heavy for me. For them, the fear must’ve been palpable.
“I’m sorry, Angel. I have an idea about that. We can talk about it over breakfast.”
“Why not now?”
“Because now is peace. Now is joy. For the first time in nearly fifteen years, I have it all.”
She sighs and snuggles tighter into me. “I never wanted this to come down on you.”
“You missed it, love. I want you. I wanted you good, bad, and ugly even then. Though I’ll be the first to admit that man would’ve been shit at this.”
She turns in my arms to face me. “Why?”
“Because he had it so easy. No stress. Everything came naturally. Job lined up after school, the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. I’d never seen struggle. That version of me would be ill-equipped for the last couple of months.”
“I think you were fully capable. We were just so damn young.”
“Our break shifted something in me fundamentally. And the years that followed, the trouble with my father, even Ayla’s shit. I learned who I want to be and what’s worth it. And you’re worth it.” I pull her back to my front and slide a hand around her waist. My fingers splay on the bare skin of her belly. It’s possessive and warm, not sexual. It’s just us, and I can’t not touch her.
After several long minutes, our cups are down to dregs. I set them on the stone barrier behind us.
“I don’t want to get heavy, but I need to go to Rosie’s today and talk with her and the girls.”
She sighs deeply. With all the mess going on with us, wehaven’t brought it up much. But five innocents are in Rosie’s house, no doubt confused and terrified.
“I wanted to ask if you want to go and if you think Renée might want to.”
She sucks in a deep breath. “She doesn’t know them at all.”
I know. “You’re right. And I’m not interested in her having trauma bonds with them over this.”
“But?”
“But—” My words are soft. “She’s their age. She looks the most like them out of all of us. I can only assume I’d be scarier to them without you two. That doesn’t obligate either of you. But you know what they’ve lived with. I think the two of you would be better ambassadors.”
She fidgets and struggles to settle where she was at peace before.
“You don’t have to decide right now. I’ll go around lunchtime. You can tell me anytime. And if tomorrow is better, we can go back.”
She exhales, and I’m left to wonder how long she’s been holding her breath.
