Page 129 of Severed Rivalry
“Is it helping you see things more clearly?”
“Also no.”
He looks at me with wariness, but his words are kind. “Can we set it aside, then, and assume it isn’t helping?”
“Do you ever wonder where we’d be if I hadn’t left… if I hadn’t had to leave?”
“I do.”
“Vodka makes my fuck-up easier.”
“Angel.”
“Ci.” I offer back, hoping it has the same resolve that his does.
“We’d have gone through our struggles together. You’d have had someone at your side as you took on the tech sector in Denver. I’d have had you with me through all the shit that is Murphy Enterprises, and I’d have come home to you after learning my sister fell off the side of a ridge to a brain injury that threatened her life. We’d probably have two kids and run carpool all day long.”
“That would be nice.”
“You missed it, Angel.”
“I missed what?”
“Who I am now… Who you are now… We’re better because we’ve been through things that allow us to see the true priorities in life. Renée is exceptional. You know how resilient you are as a single mom. Do you know how strong you are? You should. You’ve proven it to yourself over and over again. You’re a survivor. You’re a mama bear, and since I know stories from Ayla, I can attest to the accuracy.”
“Ci—”
“Let me finish, Angel.” He waits for me to nod before continuing. “I’m a better man today than I was fifteen years ago.”
“That’s not true,” I whisper.
“It is. I’m less selfish. I’ve set aside things that don’t serve me. I’ve lost the most precious thing in my world and regained it. You think I won’t fight to keep it in a different way? The shit that other people squabble over? That isn’t us, baby. We’re big-picture people. We’re sacrificing-the-good-for-the-great people. We’re the bulwark-against-anything-coming-against-us people. I needed to become this version of me so I could be the man this version of you needs. Vodka won’t change our pasts. It won’t change our heartbreaks. It will change our ability to be wise now.”
“I’m so fucking scared, Ci.” I hold his gaze, giving him all of my burden. “So. Fucking. Scared. If they touch her, if he mutilates her or violates her, I won’t be able to live with myself.”
“Mama Bear. Let’s channel that energy into protecting her on the front end instead of healing her on the back end.”
“How?”
“Would you consider a year in an underground bunker?”
My mood lightens, and my face relaxes. “Probably not.”
“A move to Asia for a year?”
I scrunch my face.
“And you already eliminated a move…” he trails off.
I hadn’t realized it, but that’s true. So we stand and fight. We peer around every corner, we have each other’s backs, and we stand.
“I’m still fucking scared.”
“Me, too, Angel. Me too.”
Cian
As a kid, Casa Bonita was a pit. It’s a shame to say, but it’s true and everybody knows it. But it was fun as shit, even if the food was terrible.
