Page 28 of Severed Rivalry
My eyes drift to the teenager with us before returning. “I?—”
“I know.” She squeezes my hand before letting go. “What if there was no risk?”
“There is.”
“All of life is risk. Loving Randy was a risk. Bringing you into our home was a risk. Releasing you out into the wild to be all you could be was too.” She drops her voice. “I’d never endanger my granddaughter. Never jeopardize her wellbeing. I would, however, tell her what I’m telling you. Most things in life are a gamble. Lots of them pay off. Some don’t. But never sitting at the table or playing a hand is no life at all.”
“Why do you sound like a Vegas card shark?”
“Don’t deflect. Choose to be brave. At least be real with what you want. If you want him—want another shot with him—then better attempted and failed than never taking the chance.”
You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.I’ve heard it a thousand times.
Neither Randy nor Rosie were unnecessary risk takers, but they valued courage. Maybe they fostered courage like that because I was a timid mouse, and it was the scariest thing to me but the best thing for me.
“Why bravery?”
“Because all the good stuff is on the other side of fear. And the only way over…”
“Is the courage to get it.”
“Is the courage to get it,” she echoes.
“Point made. But I’m still scared.”
“Not for the first time in your life and not for the last.”
She’s right. Certainly about the former. And, no doubt, about the latter.
Rosie schooled me on being fearless, or at least being bold in the face of anxiety. We finished lunch, enjoyed the movie, and hugged her goodbye in the parking lot. We’ve been home, done all the weekend tasks, including meal prep, and Renée has dropped her phone on the end table to go to bed for the night.
And here I sit, waiting on a man.
I don’t like the vulnerability of wishing and hoping. I don’t like sitting around wonderingwhat if. So with Rosie’s words echoing in my ears and in my heart, I grab my phone and let my finger hover over Cian’s contact.
I don’t press go. I want to, but more than that, I want him to reach out. I’m not playing games. Not exactly. I simply want him to pursue me.
I head to bed after that desire never manifests.
I wake the next morning with my phone tangled in the sheets.
No texts.
No calls.
Just an empty screen where I wish his name was.
Cian
I don’t love Mondays. I don’t hate them either. I’d love a life where Monday was no more stressful than any given Saturday, but that’s not my life.
Murphy Enterprises buys and sells Denver real estate. Competitive and cut-throat describe not only the industry and the market right now, but also my father who’s at the helm of the business.
Seamus Murphy has an ego that leaves little room for anything else, like, say decision-making or industry analysis. He wants to be right, be heralded and admired, and win at all costs. Especially if someone else loses. A zero-sum game is his best-case scenario, but only if he’s winning. A tie is terrible. A loss is unfathomable especially in the court of public opinion that is his playground.
He makes decisions based on a winner-take-all approach and hates any time I throttle his pace with questions or concerns.
I need to step out on my own. My brother, Liam, suggested it. Ayla supports it. In my bones, I know it’s the right decision, but sometimes the known is just so easy to maintain.
