Page 26 of Mangled Memory
Her voice is tentative and too quiet when she responds, “The doctor said we shouldn’t.”
“I don’t want to let my imagination run wild. Tell me what you’re comfortable sharing, even innocuous stuff. Give a frame of reference.”
She takes another bite and studies me cautiously.
“Aunt Gemma had another bout with breast cancer.”
My head whips up, and I’m positive I’ve showing her the contents of my mouth.
“She’s in remission again. It was a tough time. You can imagine Gram was overwhelmed.”
I nod.
She takes a sip of her water and looks away before continuing, “Cian got a dog. Some mutt from the shelter who looks at him like he’s God and she’s the faithful. Her name is Eleanor. Only your brother would name a pound puppy Eleanor.” She rolls her eyes a bit.
“Your dad landed the Lakewood project. He’s stressed but making do. Subs are a nightmare right now, and you know he hates being a general contractor.”
“I’m guessing Cian is handling that then?”
“I’m sure. He doesn’t say much about it. That whole ‘leaving work at the office’ thing that he claims is work-life balance.”
I know better. My mom does too.
“I went by the shop today.”
“Oh?” There’s so much in that one syllable, but she’s working at keeping her tone neutral.
“I found it on social media and I couldn’t not. I met Ashlyn. Or met her again. Can I tell you a secret?”
“You know you can.”
“From the outside looking in, I was overwhelmed. I’m proud of myself. Of the art. Of the business. That’s not something we get to say a whole lot about ourselves, and I wanted to say it to someone who would be proud right along with me.”
“Ayla, you’ve accomplished so much, and we’re very proud of you too. I’m glad you had a moment to celebrate what your sacrifices have become.”
All of life is sacrifice. Every bit of it. You sacrifice sleep or you sacrifice the shot. You sacrifice your health or you sacrifice your convenience. I’ve never been afraid of hard work, but I don’t think of it as a sacrifice.
“Thank you. And thanks for this. I just needed some normalcy. Something that isn’t an unknown life in an unknown house with unknown help while I fight an unknown demon.”
“I’m happy to fight those demons with you, you know?”
“I know.”
We finish lunch and meander through some shops until we realize evening rush hour is imminent and there’s no reason to endure it if we don’t have to.
“Love you, Mom,” I whisper in her ear.
“To the moon and back, Ayla.”
8
graduate-level espresso
Ayla
Today was exactly what the doctor ordered. Not my doctor, mind you. Just the elusive medical professional we all call on to beg off responsibilities and have some happy. The sun on my skin and the wind in my hair. The good music to sing along to on a picture-perfect day. Seeing Mom and learning about Eleanor. Seeing the shop and being inspired by what I’ve done, knowing I get to find something snap worthy in the next few days.
I’m ten feet tall and floating.
