Page 20 of Boundless Love
That would be the first thing she thought of.Always worried about me.“Surprisingly, I don’t feel much of anything,” I admitted.“I wish he hadn’t done it, but it’s over now, and he said his peace.”
“Did you say yours?”
“I didn’t have much to say.”Lifting my head, I looked at her, searching for answers in her beautiful, beloved face.“Is that wrong, do you think?I could’ve said a lot more than I did, but I didn’t feel like it was necessary.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that.You don’t owe him anything.You only owe yourself.”The touch of her hand on the back of my head was comforting and welcome.Necessary.
I understood her point.“I don’t have any regrets,” I decided.“There might’ve been times in the past when I asked myself what I would say if he ever appeared out of nowhere.But while he was here, standing feet away from me, looking beaten down and alone and wasted, I realized he had already paid enough.It would’ve been like kicking a sick puppy.”
“I know this is going to sound wrong… but I’m proud of you,” she whispered.“I really am.You handled that with so much grace.”
“Me?”I asked with a soft, disbelieving laugh.“You had a stranger walk in on your rehearsal dinner and throw everything off-track.”
With a snicker, she pointed out, “We also had Rowan and Spencer’s baby stealing focus for a minute there.Par for the course, right?It’s life.There’s no predicting certain things.You just have to roll with it.”
“Do me a favor, will you?”I angled my body toward hers, taking her hands in mine.There were still times like this when I looked at her and wondered how it was possible she loved me.What had I done to deserve someone this thoughtful, loving, patient?Three qualities I hadn’t exactly practiced in the years before we became part of each other’s lives again.
“Name it,” she whispered with a smile that shone in her sapphire blue eyes.
“Never stop loving me.Because if you did, I would be lost.You are the one thing I will always need.”
“It just so happens I wasn’t planning on loving anybody else for the rest of my life.”She leaned close, touching her forehead to mine.“So, I think we’re in good shape.”
“Well, almost.”When she arched an eyebrow, I explained, “We still have a room full of people waiting for us to return.”
“I guess we had better not be rude.”Still, we lingered over a few kisses, which went the rest of the way toward releasing any lingering tension.
By the time we stepped out into the lobby with Lenny’s hand in mine, I realized my father had inadvertently given me the best wedding gift I could ask for.He gave me the chance to be a better man.He reminded me how far I’d come without him, despite him.And he reminded me of how much further I planned to go.
So long as I had this woman by my side, there was no stopping me.
10
DANTE
“You look so handsome.Well, you always look handsome.”Mom sniffled, then quickly chuckled at herself after adjusting my tie for maybe the fifth time in the moments before the ceremony.She liked to fidget when she was nervous.
“You do realize I’m the one getting married in a few minutes, right?If I didn’t know better, I would think you were getting cold feet.”It was my best attempt to lighten her mood or at least ease her anxiety.I wasn’t sure where it was coming from, though I had a fairly good idea.She had been thrown badly by my father’s appearance last night, returning to her room upstairs shortly after Lenny and I rejoined the group.It was like she had only wanted to make sure I was doing well before she ducked out.
I closed my hands over hers and held them still, waiting until she looked me in the eye, asking, “Did you see him privately at all?”
“No, he must have left the hotel after he spoke with you.And that’s fine,” she added.“I didn’t have anything to say to him.That part of my life is over.I only wish he hadn’t done it to you.As if you needed him to come back and show his face when the night was supposed to be about you and Eleanor.”
“To tell you the truth, I am almost glad he did.”Her head snapped back in surprise.“Really,” I gently insisted.“He reminded me of everything I try hard not to be.I used to tell myself I didn’t have the first idea how to be a good man… a husband, a father, you know?After all, I didn’t have an example set for me.”I gave her hands a squeeze.“That was a copout.If I am a good man, it’s because I was raised by a good woman.And if I’m looking for an example from him, it’s an example of everything I don’t want to be.”
“I want you to know something, though.”There were tears in her eyes again, and her chin quivered with emotion.“Your father was a good man.I married a good man.He wrestled with demons.Maybe he still does… I don’t think they go away no matter how many meetings a person goes to or how long they’ve been able to fight the addiction back.It’s always there.He’s not a monster.Only a very human man who has struggled.”
We would never see eye to eye on her religion and the way she still tried to bring me around to her way of seeing things.That didn’t mean I couldn’t appreciate her capacity to forgive.That forgiveness rolled over me like a sweet balm, bringing me peace.“I’ll be sure to remind myself of that if I ever feel frustrated when I think of him.”
“Well, try not to think of him too much.”She blinked back her tears, then winked.“Just because we can forgive him doesn’t mean he’s worth the time.Now, what do you say we head out and see all those guests who are waiting for you?”
“I’m sure they’re all waiting to see Lenny.”
“Who won’t come down the aisle until you’re in place, smart guy.”She took a backward step, holding her arms to her sides.“Do I look all right?The way the mother of the groom should look?”
“You look beautiful, but you must know that.”I touched a finger to the pearl brooch she had admired during her shopping trip with the girls, which Lenny had gone back to buy for her.What a good idea it was to give it to her before our rehearsal last night, or else the moment might have been overshadowed by Dad’s sudden appearance.“And this looks nice on you.You have good taste.”
“You have good taste,” she told me, smiling down at the brooch.“That is one thoughtful girl.I always did like her, even back when you were kids.I’m very happy for you today, and I’m proud of you.There’s only one more thing you can do for me.”
