Page 2 of Don't Look Back
Annoyance fills me the same way it does every morning as I watch the scene unfold. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I resign myself to waiting in my car for the first period bell to ring, giving myself an extra few minutes to finish my morning tea. Today is going to suck epically; I can already feel it. Finals are this week, and with college applications heading out, maintaining my perfect GPA is more important than ever.
Yep, major suckage ahead.
Pulling the visor mirror down, I take a moment to double-check my appearance. Not out of vanity, but because I need to be sure my preppy, perfect daughter façade is always on point. That meant ensuring my winged eyeliner is always sharp enough to kill a man and my pink pouty lips are always soft and plump. I learned from a young age that looks were important in this aristocratic bullshit society; mine are both a shield and aweapon. An unbreakable form of armor that keeps me safe from the world. People only see what I want them to see.
No one ever looks past my pretty face or outgoing demeanor. Never sees the quiet calculating side of me, or the girl who cross-trains in outdoor sports and has an IQ of 130. But that’s just how I like it. They won’t underestimate me so much if they knew the real me. Strategically, I’m friendly enough to fly under the radar but smart enough to make sure I get out of this wealthy cesspool of suburbia one day.
The bell dings, signaling the start of yet another school day at Wisteria High. Tossing my keys and phone in my bag, I slide out of my car and head into the school. My first period of the day is English Literature in room 305 with Mr. Harvester, on the complete opposite side of the school from the parking lot. It’s a decent walk, but one I don’t mind making.
Not when it leads me toher.
Allison Beckett McKinnley, orAllieas she prefers to be called. She doesn’t know it yet, but I call hermine. Allie is both the moon and the brilliantly shining stars that glow in the dark abyss of my heart. She’s my everything, and she has no idea. I’ve been working up the courage to ask her out for years. Ever since I laid eyes on her smooth, pale skin, beautiful blue eyes, black hair, and freckles. Her quiet demeanor has most people walking right on by without so much as a second glance. That’s where they go wrong.
Hiding behind that shy reservation is a ferocity only someone like me can truly appreciate. Her eyes hold a fire that could burn the world to ashes if she tried. My little AllieCat is goofy and playful, loyal, wise beyond her years, and fiercely protective of those she cares about. She’s the light to my dark, the fun to myseriousness, the yin to my yang. My other, better half, in every single way.
As I go to round the corner of the hallway leading to my English Lit class, I hear a commotion. Freezing in my tracks, I slowly peer around the corner and survey the scene around me. Just before the doorway to our next period classroom, Allie stands with her back against the wall, talking to some idiotic male. Based on their body language, I would say he's asking her out, she’s saying no, and of course, he doesn’t listen.Gasp.Shocker. The men of this town are slimy. Every last one of them. When he tries to grab her hands for the third time, despite the contact being clearly unwanted and rejected, the calm mask I work so hard to keep in place begins to slip. How dare he touch her after she said no and pushed him away, not once but twice? The fucking audacity of men these days is astounding. A familiar icy sensation begins to flow through my veins, and it takes more energy than I would like to admit to keep up my preppy schoolgirl façade. The one concealing an inner demon I’ve spent years locking down.
Standing up a little taller, I lift my chin and stride over to them. “Allie!” I squeal in my best popular girl voice, “Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you!” Gently linking her arm with mine, I swiftly lead her away from the man who previously felt entitled to her attention.
“Oh my god, thank you!” She lets out in a rush, completely going along with my plan. Ha. That is adorable, as if I could evernotrescue her from some sleazy meat sword-wielding douchebag. There’s no stopping the little smirk that appears on my face.
He never stood a chance.
I wish I could say I’m satisfied. Let the sting of rejection be clear as day on his face, fuel some warm, fuzzy part of me. But the truth is, I haven’t felt a damn thing since my mother died. It's like little me couldn’t stand the trauma and blocked everything out. Feelings, memories, all of it. Sometimes I get glimpses, but holding on to them is like trying to grab mist by the handfuls. I would say… less than productive. So I became very good at practicing “normal” emotions and facial features in the mirror over the years. And that has been productive.
Now, my little AllieCat is different. She invokes something new in me. Something dark. Not love per se, but something far more… intense.Obsession. I want to see how her brain works from the inside. Draw out all that darkness I can feel swimming just beneath the surface. To wrap my hands around those emotions she tries so hard to hide from the world.
Something inside of me wants toplaywith her, hurt her in ways only I can, and see just how far my AllieCat can bend before she breaks. It’s a sick sort of fascination, I will admit. But she’s just so goddamn pretty. And who doesn’t like pretty things?
2
ALLIE
Hoping the slight heat in my cheeks isn’t showing, I take a moment to introduce myself to my new friend. Which is exactly what we are now, friends. She saved me from the creepy guy who doesn’t seem to understand consent, and now there's just no going back. We’re friends for life. Sorry, no take-backs, returns, or exchanges. Thems the rules.
“I’m Allie, by the way. Aren’t you in a few of my classes? You look so familiar.”…And... I’m rambling.Shaking my head slightly, I try to recover whatever may be left of my dignity. “Thank you again for saving my ass back there. I’ve told him I’m not interested more times than I can count, but the guy doesn’t seem to understand that the word no is a complete sentence or an acceptable response to bullshit.”
I watch as her eyes go dangerously dead and empty for a moment before regaining composure. But that one moment is enough for me to understand that there is far more to the woman standing before me than just some happy-go-lucky socialite she presents as. No, there’s something dark and brilliantly dangerous that lurks beneath her mask. I would know – If there’s one thing in this world I’m familiar with, it’s the monsters that lurk within the shadows; hidden behind pearly veneers and bodies as plastic as Barbies.
The darkness is my comfort zone. But I know better than to test a predator's restraint in public while they are trying so hard to maintain a ‘normal’ façade. Better not to immediately trauma dump about how many times that particular person has made unwanted advances and not respected the word no. I won't tell her about how he touched me…more than once. Or how he stalked me day in and day out. Something told me there would be plenty of time for that later, when we’re alone.
For some odd reason, the thought of being alone with the woman in front of me did funny things to my insides, like angry little bats fluttering about. Maybe then I can poke the proverbial bear…. Just to see its claws.
“Are you alright?” Her question pulls me from my internal ramblings as heat begins to creep up my neck.
Was I alright? Mentally, no…not for a long time.
“Yeah, sorry. Just spaced out for a moment.”
“No worries!” She replies with an easy shrug of her shoulders. “The names Avery and I’m pretty sure we do have at least one other class together.”
Ambling into class, we take two seats adjacent to each other as our English Lit teacher walks to the front of the room and begins to speak.
“Attention, class! I understand that this is the final week of class; however, we still have one more assignment to complete.” The room groans, and someone in the back even boos. Personally, I don’t mind this class; it’s always been one of my stronger subjects. Our teacher, Mr. Harvester, stands before the class, hands raised in a placating gesture. “The good news is this assignment will count as your final, so no long, boring test at the end of the week. The bad news, for some of you anyway, is that this writing assignment will be done in pairs. But more good news? You get to pick your partner. So choose wisely.”
My eyes immediately cut to Avery, who must have done the same as her eyes catch mine. A smile lights up my face, and I wink. “Hey there…partner.”
Oh, this is going to be so much fun.
