Page 134 of Devious Love
I step into him. “I said no.”
With that, I head to my suitcase, grab my pjs, and shuffle to the bathroom. As I close the door, he smiles and nods.
I don’t want to consider what it all means.
All I want tonight is some peace of mind.
CHAPTER 39
close but not close enough
DOMINIC
Age 27
September
In the lightof the morning sun, Mia looks peaceful, as beautiful as ever. She’s asleep beside me, yet she’s still so far away. After she walked out of the bathroom last night, I thought she’d throw me out. Instead, she slipped under the comforter, turned her back to me, and fell asleep—wordlessly proving who’s in control of this situation.
The checkmate threw me off for a moment, but the overriding emotion I felt last night? Pride. I was so fucking proud of her for how she put me in my place during the hike, for how mature and levelheaded she was the rest of the day. More than anything, I was proud of her for saying no.
God only knows how much I wanted her last night, how badly I craved her, especially after we walked in on Miles and Chiara.
After she watched them while I watched her.
Her rejection stung, even if I was proud of her for it. And the more I thought about it as I lay in bed, the more sure I was that she’d done the right thing. It’s not just about sex for me, even ifsex with her was the best of my life. I want companionship, love, and support. I want to cheer her on and make her happy. And, selfishly, I want her because she makes me a better man, because when she’s in my arms, I’m capable of anything.
I want her. I always will. But if I want a shot at repairing the damage I caused, she has to choose me on her own.
She stirs, her lips parting slightly, eyes still closed, stealing all my attention like she always does.
I’ve spent so many nights imagining that one day, I’d wake up next to her again, with her soft, warm body pressed to mine. I’d go to bed thinking of her and dream about her all night long. Here I am, yet my reality looks nothing like my fantasies.
Close but not close enough. Even though she’s only an arm’s length away, there’s still a wall between us. There are glimpses of who she’s become, of who she’s always been, but it’s like trying to quench my thirst by catching droplets of rain on my tongue. It’s nowhere near enough, and I’ll be damned if I lose this chance to tear down the wall brick by brick, exposing her to me until I see all of her.
I’ll start today. Five hours in the car on the way back to Monterey will give me the uninterrupted time I need.
I slip out of bed, throw on a tee, and with one more look at her, I head downstairs.
As I hit the bottom of the stairs, the low murmur of voices gets a little louder. I follow the sound to the kitchen, where I find Matt and Miles.
The timing couldn’t be more perfect. I really need their company.
When Miles spots me, he lifts his mug. “You’re up early.”
“I could say the same about you.” I pour myself some coffee, relishing the strong aroma, then prop my hip against the counter and survey my best friends.
The two of them couldn’t be more different: Matt is more uptight and a lover of discipline while Miles is laid-back, a total rule-breaker. The one thing they have in common? They both tolerate my bullshit. They support me and encourage me even when I don’t deserve it.
“Mia’s still asleep?” Matt asks.
“Yeah.”
Sighing, he sets his mug on the table.
I tense, preparing myself for a lecture. I’ve been waiting for it since he found us arguing during the hike yesterday.
Instead, he rubs a hand down his face and leans forward, elbows on the table. “Why do you think I organized this little trip?”
