Page 92 of Echoes of a Silent Song
Probably because it wasn’t about Victor.He had nothing to do with this piece.In fact, I’d barely even thought about him for however long I’d been ...
...what was the word ...
Writing.Yes.
What?What was I ...
Oh.Yes.The piece.I didn’t write it for Victor.I wrote it for God, and about God, and about how much he loved me even though I didn’t deserve it, and about how even if a human man never loved me the way I needed to be loved, Jesus would.
He already did.
Tears streamed down my face, and my heart felt like it was breaking.I just wanted to go to bed and pull the covers up over my—
No.I did that before.This felt a lot like before, when I didn’t get into Whitehall in the first place.
Was the anxiety coming back?
Couldn’t let that happen.I had work to do.
The pills were right there.A few of them still lay scattered on the desk.I grabbed two?Three?I didn’t count them.Whatever.I swigged them down with the last of the ...
...the water.
Yeah.The water.
Wow.I was exhausted.Composing usually took it out of me, but never like this.I felt like all the life force had just drained from me.Like I’d run a marathon and followed it up by climbing a mountain.My arms and legs weighed a ton.My eyelids ...it took all my strength to keep them open ...
No.I had tofinish.
But the notes on the page, they just swam and blurred, and I couldn’t even hold my pencil anymore.
I was so sleepy that I worked hard even to breathe.
I ...I had to go to bed.I had to sleep.I needed rest.I couldn’t force it anymore.I’m sorry, Melody.Sorry, Harmony.I’ll be back soon, I promise.I’m just so very, very sleepy.
The bed was so plush.So inviting.The roses on the quilt became almost three dimensional.Like a field of flowers welcoming me into their fragrant embrace.
So I fell.I let them hold me.
They really were beautiful flowers.
When my eyes opened, light streamed into my bedroom.
Was it morning already?I hoped not.I still wanted to sleep.
The light was so beautiful.I wanted to go straight toward it, but I thought its brightness would hurt my eyes.
I rolled over, and ...someone sat next to me.A man.
I should’ve been scared, but I only felt peace.The deepest peace I’d ever known.The man wore a long robe, and his skin and eyes were brown, his hair was black, and he had a beard ...
I’d never seen this man before, but I knew his name in an instant.Jesus.
He smiled at me with such love, such kindness ...
“What ...what are you doing here?”I asked.
“It’s time to come home, Iris.”His gentle voice sounded like a cello.A whole orchestra of cellos, rich and sweet.
