Page 31 of How We End
“No.”I wanted to feel normal.I wanted this moment to be about me as a woman, not a whore.I held out my hands, my wrists together.He wrapped the silk around them, watching me.He tied the ends and pressed kisses on my fingertips.
“If at any time you want me to stop, say so.”He walked me to the bed.
I nodded, afraid if I said something, it would break this moment.
“Turn around.”
He slowly unzipped my dress, and it fell around my feet.I faced him in nothing more than a pair of black lace underwear and heels with a gold bow.
Julian drew an unsteady breath.“You are so perfect,” he said, running a finger over my collarbone.His hair had fallen over his brow.I wanted to brush it from his forehead.“I want you on the bed.Your hands on the headboard at all times.Do you understand?”
I nodded and did as he asked.I lay down and pressed my hands against the headboard.He grabbed my hips, pulling down, my fingertips barely touching the cheap wooden headboard.Julian pressed a kiss to my stomach as he slid my thong down.My breath caught in my throat when he kissed the inside of my knee.I struggled to keep my arms over my head as he took one leg and draped it over his shoulder.My back arched at the first featherlight touch of his mouth on me.
One finger joined his mouth.Then two.His other hand pressed down right above my pubic bone.He took his time, slow and lazy movements pulling me out of my head.I fought the need to touch him.To tangle my hands in his hair.“Julian,” I cried, arching against his mouth.
He lifted his head, crawling back up to me.“Yes, love.”He nuzzled my neck, his hand still between my legs.His mouth dragged down my neck.His tongue swirled around my nipple before he sucked in the hard peak.
I whimpered, fighting to keep my hands above my head.This was what need felt like.Something I hadn’t felt in years.Why had I let sex become so mundane?
Julian pulled away.The white paint on his face and hands was bright in the low light of the room.He stepped out of his clothes and tore the condom wrapper before rolling it down.He crawled back up the bed, placing kisses on my hips and on my stomach.
He draped my legs over his knees and traced each one of my ribs and the curve of my breast, watching my skin pebble under his touch.“I could watch you all day.”He tilted his head; it was an eerie sight with his face painted like that of a skull.
“Julian,” I cried, wanting so badly to touch him.To trace the muscles that pulled over his shoulder.The hard plane of his chest.
“Yes?”he said.
“Untie me, please.”
“Why?”His hand spanned my rib cage and slid under my back.I arched as he pulled me up, running his tongue along the underside of my breast.“When’s the last time you begged?The last time you wanted it so badly you ached for it?”He pressed those words into my skin.
“A long time.”I writhed under his touch.I couldn’t catch my breath.
“A month.A year.Two days.How long?”
“Twelve years.Now, please.”
He clicked his tongue.“That’s too long.”He moved, pressing my hands into the mattress with one hand.He hovered over me as he settled between my legs.“Tell me how bad you want it.”
There was a power balance between escort and client.I had what they wanted, and as long as I held that power, I was in control.If I gave that power to Julian, I could never get it back.But if I didn’t, I could lose him.“I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone.”
“Anyone?”
“Yes.”He watched me as he slowly entered me.“Oh god.”I breathed out, wanting more.I wanted to feel the weight of his body on me.Hear his breath.“Julian, please untie me.”I could feel the tears burning in my eyes.
He held my hands above my head as he pressed into me deeper.I wrapped my legs around him, wanting him closer.He lowered himself onto me, letting go of my arms, pulling the knot free.I cried out in relief, finally able to touch him.To anchor myself to something that was real.I clung to him as we fucked, hard.Because that was what I wanted as Wyatt.My climax ripped through me.I couldn’t stop the tears.I had never felt so much from an orgasm.
“Oh god, Cassidy, I’m sorry.”He looked down at me.“Are you hurt?”
I smiled through the tears, pulling him closer to me.“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”I nuzzled his neck.I wanted to bask in this moment.Because it wouldn’t last.
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
WYATT
