Page 104 of How We End
“How did you know?”Julian didn’t look at me.
“Anders called me.”I leaned against the counter.“What happened?”
Julian blew out a breath.“I got my fourth major.Did you really quit?”
“Yep.”
“You didn’t have to.I told you?—”
“Are you fucking serious right now?”So help me god, if this man gave me the “it’s your job” line, I would give him another black eye.
“What?”
“I didn’t have to quit?You’re really okay with me fucking other men.Being forced on my knees and their cock shoved down my throat.You’re okay with that?”
“Not when you put it that way,” he yelled.
“What way do you want me to put it?”I yelled back.
“Not that way.”He ran his hand over his face.
“Julian.”
“What?”He wouldn’t look at me.
“Say it.Say, ‘I’m okay with it.I’m okay with the woman I claim to love fucking other men!’Say it, and I’ll call up Maverick right now.I’ll book a trip to New York this weekend.Say it!”
“Claim?I do love you!”he shouted back.“It kills me to think about that.I hate it.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
“And then what?Were you going to follow me around from city to fucking city as I try to figure this out?”
“Yes!Gladly,” I shouted at him.“I’m not her, Julian.Stop making me pay for her mistakes.”I leaned against the counter, watching my words hit him.“Why would you think I wouldn’t?”
“I don’t want you to get lost in my life.I don’t want you to wake up one morning and realize that…”
“That what?”
“That it’s just me.Christ, Wyatt, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.My career is ending, and I don’t know who the fuck I am.If I can’t play, then what?What will happen to us?”
“Why would anything happen to us?”I waited for him to say something.“You still think I’m here because of your career?”I shook my head, fighting the tears of frustration.
“Everyone else is.”Julian wouldn’t look at me.The muscle in his jaw flexed.
“I’m not everyone.”Outside, the city of Silver Creek was waking up.The muffled sound of people filtered up.
“I’m scared.I’m scared of losing you.My career.Everything feels so out of fucking control right now.”He looked down at his hands.There were cuts on his knuckles, and two of his fingers were taped up.
That I understood.“And you think I got it all figured out?”
The corner of his mouth turned up in a half smile.“More than I do.”
I walked over to him and pressed my forehead to his chest.“I promise I don’t.”I had no idea where I was going to live, how I was going to support myself.Those things should’ve been concerning, but they could wait.I lifted my head.“I don’t care if you play hockey or sell overpriced bottles of water at Caesars Palace.I will still love you.You made a promise in the setting sun, remember?You said you’d stay.Have you changed your mind?”
“God, no.”He cupped my face.“I’m sorry.I’m so very sorry.”
“Me too.”I kissed the palm of his hand.“You look like shit.”
