Page 42 of How We End
He shook his head.When his eyes met mine, they carried that ache I was starting to recognize—the kind that made my chest tighten.I hated when he looked like that, like the world had been too much again.
I took his hand and led him to the bedroom.He said nothing as I helped him slip out of his suit coat.Then his shoes and his pants.He held all his stress in his shoulder and neck.I crawled into bed, pulling him down with me, and tucked his head under my chin and pulled the covers up over us.
“I’ve missed you so much.”I felt him exhale and pull me tighter.
“I’m sorry.My head wasn’t in a good place.”
“There is nothing to be sorry about.I’m glad you’re here now.”I kissed the top of his head.
“I’ll pay you, I promise?—”
“This isn’t about that.”I couldn’t get close enough to him.Couldn’t ease the stress from him quickly enough.Erase the dirty smudge everyone had left on him fast enough.“Now close your eyes.”
“For five minutes.”He yawned.“Then I’ll leave.”
“Five minutes,” I whispered.
Julian pulled my leg over his hip and exhaled once more.“Tell me about your night.”He yawned again.
“Just a typical night here in beautiful Las Vegas.You know, a little gambling, rich people, a horrible woman named Barbra, and bad hotel food.”
“Most Barbras are horrible.”Julian’s voice was heavy with sleep.“My aunt Barbra used to tell Beckett he would never amount to anything.”
“Wow, she sounds great.”The more time we spent together, the more little things I learned about him and the more I wanted to spend time with him.And that was an occupational hazard.
“You’ll have to meet her one day.Now tell me how horrible she was.”He slid his hand inside my robe, his thumb making small circles on my ribs.
I did.I told him about the meal and Barbra.About poor Gabe and his marriage until Julian fell asleep.Then I lay there, watching the blue neon flash.Long ago, when I still believed in things like sunsets and falling in love, this was what I would have wished for.A man like Julian.Handsome and caring.If only I believed in those things.I closed my eyes.Just for five minutes.
“Wyatt.”
I blinked, trying to remember where the hell I was.Jackson stood in the low light of the room.“Shit, what time is it?”
“Late.Are you okay?”he whispered.
Julian was still asleep in my arms.He didn’t move.I looked at Jackson, pleading with him to let me have this.Have Julian like this, warm and soft.Safe.
“It’s okay.I get it.I’m heading out.I’ll lock the elevator.Get some sleep.”Jackson nodded and quietly closed the door behind him.
I snuggled closer to Julian.He didn’t stir, his arms still around me, my leg still over his hip.This wasn’t real, and when the sun rose, whatever this was would be over.But for now, I’d let this dream live in the neon blue of the Starlight Sands casino.
CHAPTERTWENTY-ONE
WYATT
November 16
On the bedroom floor was a tie.It wasn’t Starlight Sands blue.It looked like tarnished silver.I picked it up and ran the smooth fabric through my fingers.The initials "JS" were embroidered on the back.Julian Silver.I didn’t think he left it here on purpose.This morning, he dragged himself from the bed, apologizing for falling asleep.Then he took the weight of the world with him.Leaving a vast hole in mine.He and I were feeling like more.Bigger than what we started out as.
If I had friends, I would ask them what the turning point was.What happened when it went from sex to something else?When I was the one who had the feelings?If I had friends that lived this life, I’d ask them when it was time to get out and what to do with a man like Julian.
“Wyatt?”Maverick’s voice filled the space.
I dropped Julian’s tie in my bag.“Yeah,” I called, walking into the living area.I could tell by the way he said my name he was in a mood, and I didn’t have the energy to make him feel better about himself.
“Did you have an overnight client?”Maverick’s eyes flicked to the bedroom, heavy with accusation—like he’d caught me doing something wrong.
“When?”
