Page 22 of The Forgotten Life of Ella Moon
“It’s ending better than it started.”Hesmiled.
Ella let out a strangled laugh. “Whattortuous event made finding me wet and muddy better?”
“Dealing with my father.Hecan suck the life out of any event.”Thanebrushed the mud from his pants.
“I’m sorry about the mud.I’llclean it up.”Sheshould get used to cleaning things up.Williamhad been right.Shehad no skills, nothing to offer anyone.Shewould work at some inn until her back became bent and hands chapped.Andthe sooner she let go of silly wishes of being something else, the sooner her life could start.
“Ella, what’s wrong?”Thanetouched her knee.
“Why can’tIremember whoIam?”
“I wishIcould tell you.”Thanetook an unsteady breath. “Somebelieve we lose things we take for granted and only when we have made amends do we get back those things.”
Ella wiped the back of her hand under her nose.Great, with her luck, she would wake up and forget everything again.Ellaplayed with the last bracelet on her arm.Itwas time to let go.Shecould sell it, maybe get enough money for passage out ofRiverton.Shedidn’t want anyone here to witness her failure.NotWilliam.NotLillian. “Doyou know of anyone who will buy broken gold?Weused to have a goldsmith inRiverton, but no one had gold to sell so he left.”
“I don’t think a goldsmith can offer you the true value of that gold.Whereis this coming from?”
“I used to believe that things would be okay.ThatIwould be okay.Thatone dayI’dremember whoIwas.Orthat someone else would and everything would just work out.Butnow…”Ellapaused, not sure why she was telling him this. “Theinn is closing, andIhave no skills.Sissycan grow wheat in a field of rocks.Claracan make a dress out of bed linens.Ican’t even make a bed properly.Ihave nothing to offer a husband.”
“Not every man wants a wife who can bake bread or mend his shirts.Somemen want a wife who will be his equal.Whowill travel to the end of this world with him.Somemen see their wives as more than caretakers.”
Ella lifted her head, finally meeting his gaze.Thepity she had feared earlier had turned to sadness. “Notin the worldIlive in.”
BeforeThanecould say another word, the carriage came to a stop, and the footman opened the door.
“Thank you for the ride.I’llclean up the messImade after the evening meal.”Elladucked out of the carriage.Thefront door was bright with the welcoming glow of the lanterns.Theyhad not been left on for her.Shestarted walking to the back.
“Ella, where are you going?”Thanepointed to the front door.
Defeat sat so heavy on her chest she could barely take a breath. “Thefront door is not for people like me.Thanksagain for the ride.”Shelimped back to the garden gate.Sheheaded for the kitchen when she remembered the plates.Shepushed aside the willow branches to see the stark reminder of her future gleaming in the moonlight.
“Why are you here?”Ellasaid to the shadow waiting under the tree.
“I didn’t know where else to go.Iwas worried.”
She didn’t have the energy to deal withWilliam. “I’mtired, wet, and cold.”Shepicked up the plates, turning to leave.
“Ella,I’msorry.”
“Me too.Nowgo home.”Shepushed through the willow and made her way to the back door.Thekitchen was dark and empty.Thescent of yeast and lye filled the air.Sheset the plates in the wooden dish tub and filled a small bucket with water.Themain hall lay empty, but the embers from the evening fire were still aglow.Shetrudged up the stairs to her room, where she peeled off her ruined dress and began washing the mud from her feet and hands.Hertears mixed with the dirty water.
Stop it,she screamed in her head.Tearswill solve nothing.Theymake you weak and stupid.Didyou think you were destined for something better than this?No.Thisis your life.Dealwith it.Ellacaught her reflection in the tarnished mirror.Thescratches on her cheeks would match the scar on her lip.
When she first saw her reflection, she believed a girl who got a cut like that on her lip must have lived an exciting life.Nowshe questioned that.MaybeMrs.Awas right and she’d gotten the cut from an abusive husband or father.Perhapsshe had been bad at her job, and her employer beat her.Perhapsit didn’t matter.
She changed into a clean night shirt and hung her wet skirt over the chair.Sinceshe couldn’t sew and was behind on laundry it was all she had to wear tomorrow.Shebit back a sob.Shecouldn’t even take care of herself.
There was a soft knock on her door.Ellaopened it. “Thane,Imean,Mr.Tenebris.Youshouldn’t…”
“You left this.”Heheld up her slipper.
“Right.”Shetook it, examining the dirty leather. “Thankyou for the ride.I’llclean your jacket and get it back to you by end of day tomorrow.”
“Ella.”Hisvoice was so soft, it made her ache.
“I just want to be happy.”Herwords came out in a sob.Everythingweighed down on her.Noteverything, the truth.Ellawould be lucky to haveAlbertor evenWilliam.Beautywas not something that could be taken to the bank.Youcouldn’t buy a home with it.Orsave a failing mill.Andbeauty was all she had.
“I know, love.”Thanepulled her into his warm embrace.Hestepped them into her room, closing the door.
