Page 50 of All Twisted Up
“A goddamned cat?” Candy asked.
“Hey, some people like cats,” I said, trying not to sound ungrateful if he decided to make the effort. “Besides, I wouldn’twant him adopted by some fucked up cartel douche if they manage to find my apartment. He hates automatic weapons and dickheads.”
Candy’s lips twitched. “I thought all you cared about were those fucking houseplants.”
No, there was someone I cared a lot more about now…but he wasn’t talking about the smaller man at my side. “Um…someone will have to water them too. My coleus is very temperamental,” I said, perhaps too quickly.
Patsy snorted as Smith barked a laugh.
“You two are assholes,” I said, pointing at them one by one.
“What?” Patsy asked. “Afraid the wee plants are gonna get root rot, boyo?” he drawled, reaching out to punch me in the shoulder.
“Bite me, Irish.” I rubbed the sore spot as I glared at him.
Candy turned to look at them. “Just for that, you two get to water the fucking plants.”
“Hey!” Snickers said. “I didn’t say anything, Cap!”
Patsy hooked an arm with our larger brother. “If I have to be arsed to water the feckin’ plants, so do you.”
“Leprechaun!” Snickers shot back, yanking his arm out of Patsy’s hold.
“That’s enough,” Candy said. “You’re both watering the damn plants…and I’ll figure out a way to have the cat go with you, Hampstead.” He pulled out his phone. “I need to call this into SAC Bradley and let him know what’s happening. Mr. Calder, if you’ll wait with Nash and these two children, I’ll start making calls.” He turned to walk away.
“Will do, Captain.”
“And I suppose you’ll be wantin’ Snickers and me to pack up the jockstraps again?” Patsy called at his retreating back. Candy just gave a thumbs up, not even bothering to look over his shoulder.
“I never liked those things,” Smith said, glancing over at us.
“You really should try them,” Joshua said, smirking at the big man as he gestured to his groin. “Keeps things in a nice, tight package.”
I tried not to think about his fucking sexy jockstraps as Napoleon shook his head, frowning slightly. “Maybe, but I could never get used to my ass being out there for the whole world to see.”
“I don’t know why not,” I added.
“What are you getting at?” Napoleon asked with a lifted brow.
“Weren’t you the one bragging that the last guy you dated enjoyed going commando, Smith?” I asked.
“Yeah…what about it?” he asked.
“I’m only saying there’s a very real possibility that you’ve been tea bagged with sweaty balls so much, it could explain why your breath smells like gym socks.” I smirked at my friend.
“And wee broken promises,” Patsy added, doubling over with laughter.
Napoleon glared at him. “Fuck all, y’all.”
I glanced at Joshua who was laughing too.
When he looked up at me, he shrugged. “What? You guys kill me.”
When Candy came walking back to us, I nodded at him. “How’d he take it?”
“Like a prostate exam,” Candy growled.
I laughed. “So, what now? Where do we go while we wait for SAC Bradley to find us a safehouse?” I glanced at the house’s sliding glass door where a Hispanic woman stood, glaring at us. The frown on her wrinkled face couldn’t be mistaken and the wooden spoon in her hand looked lethal. “Uh oh…if we don’t get out of here soon, she’s gonna make us kneel on corn.”
