Page 42 of All Twisted Up
At thirty-two, I behaved like a guy younger than my age, drinking too much, dragging Mickey to clubs to dance and flirt with hot guys, while Joshua was the one behaving like the adult here. To be honest, it made me feel ashamed of the way I’d been living before meeting him. Then again, I didn’t have a family to worry about. They’d disowned me the minute they found out I was gay. I really didn’t like thinking about the reaction of myparents or the way my father had expressed his hatred. Seeing Joshua with his family brought that home in a big way. He put the kids before anything else, making sure they were well-loved, clean, cared for, and safe.
Though I was sure he’d meant well, following his friend Billy into that cartel apartment had been a huge mistake. He was aware his actions had put his family in the crosshairs of some really shitty people and after everything that had happened, I knew he’d be regretting that choice for a long time. At the same time, he’d done it for a friend, not knowing what the consequences would be. I felt for the guy. And really hoped the FBI could figure out who had ordered the hit on the cartel’s behalf now that Pedro Gomez was dead, and get the contract called off…soon.
Living with a man I was attracted to was awkward, but I also knew, I needed to keep my hands off Joshua now that I realized I hadn’t thought through my decision. I glanced around my small apartment. Agreeing to bring him here had been a mistake. I didn’t share my space with anyone but my plants and Marvin. It was a peaceful existence that I coveted. Normally, I could walk around my apartment in my underwear and scratch my balls with only my disapproving cat to witness the act. Now, though, I had to keep my distance from him. I hated the very idea of it, because I really wanted to touch him.
Dammit!Being alone with Joshua, possibly for an extended period, was going to be hell.
I glanced at the clock, noting only an hour had passed since I’d taken a chair at the kitchen table.Fuck this noise. I abruptly stood, needing to get out of the apartment. Joshua looked up from the book.
“I was thinking, we could go to my gym down the street for a workout if you’d like,” I said. Chances were infinitesimal that the cartel would be hanging out at some random 24 Hour Fitness, waiting around for Joshua to show up, but still, I supposed there was the tiniest risk.
“Really?” He looked excited about the idea of getting out of the apartment even though there were reservations in his eyes. “Somehow, I was under the impression we weren’t allowed to run around outside the house. But if you think it’s safe, I would love to get in a workout. With my normal schedule, I hardly ever get the chance to go to the gym.” The expression on his face was so hopeful.
“Let me clear it with the captain.” I picked up my phone and hit speed dial to the boss’s direct line. The concerned tone in Candy’s voice the minute he answered, made me swallow hard.
“Trouble, Hampstead?”
I stood up from the table, phone in hand as I walked down the hallway toward the bedroom. “No trouble, boss. I just wanted to clear something with you.”
“What is it?”
I bit my lip as I walked into the bedroom and closed the door. I wanted to be honest with Candy and at the same time, it was best that Joshua not overhear the reservations I had about our situation. “I’m going crazy here, boss. Can I take him out?”
“What do you meantake him out? Are we talking a date here or—”
I snorted. “Haha. Someone thinks they’re funny…I just…it’s boring as hell just sitting around this small apartment. It’s really awkward. You’ve been here, and you know how small this place is.”
There was a long pause before the boss finally spoke again. I shouldn’t have been surprised at the growly tone of his words. “It’s literally been three hours, Hampstead! How can you be having second thoughts about this protection detail already?”
“It’s not so much second thoughts, boss. I’m confident about my abilities, it’s just...we’re sitting in the same room staring at each other.” I cringed, hearing the words as they came out of my mouth, realizing—too late—how stupid they sounded.
“That’s what you signed up for, Hampstead.” He paused for a second. “Is this arrangement going to be a problem? You assured me it wasn’t.” He paused before going on. “I suppose I can move him, but it’s going to be a monumental headache.”
“No…no, don’t do that. I just…can I take him to the gym? There’s a 24 Hour Fitness just down the street from my apartment and during the day, it’s not busy. Mornings and evenings it’s packed with a before or after-work crowd, but during the day, there are fewer people.” I checked my watch. “There’s hardly anyone there at this time of day.” He didn’t answer right away, so I waited, kicking myself for sounding like such a whiner. It was a sign of weakness. “You know what, boss. It’s fine,” I blurted. “Bad idea.”
“No, it’s…okay. I trust you, Nash,” he said. “If you think you can protect him while you’re at the gym, then, okay, take him. You have to take your firearm and conceal it somehow.” He went on. “It’s probably my fault for not thinking this whole thing through. Things were happening fast. It’s not a bad idea to get him out of the place and tomorrow I’ll make sure two of the guys are with you as an added layer of protection. If you’re going stir crazy after a few hours, I can only imagine he’s probably feeling much the same. Both of you have active work and personal lives and I didn’t take that into consideration when I suggested this whole set up. That’s on me.”
I blew out a relieved breath. “Thanks, boss.”
“I’m also going to get you two memberships at more than one place. We don’t want you to form a consistent pattern that someone might pick up on. I’ll send out a team to several locations to vet them ahead of time to make sure you’re as safe as we can make you. That way, you can do your workouts without the worry of watching your backs. I’d suggest having the two of you come to the Federal Building and do your workouts here, but I think that’s going to put him in more danger than just keeping him close to home. I’m sure Gomez’ people know by now that it was the DEA in the apartment, so they might have people watching their offices as well as ours.”
“That makes total sense.” I felt better. “Thanks again, Candy. I really appreciate it.” It was on the tip of my tongue to suggest other outings like the gun range, but I decided it probably wasn’t the right time to bring it up.
“Like I said, it’s no problem. Other than that, how’s he doing?”
“He seems to be settling in. I made space for his clothes and helped get him unpacked.” I couldn’t help but grin. “He was slightly embarrassed that you packed his jockstraps.”
He laughed. “Thank Patsy for that. He couldn’t resist.”
“I’ll let the Irish fuck know that the next time I see him.”
He chuckled. “Okay then. Let me know if you need anything else, Hampstead.”
“I will.”
“And, Nash?”
“Yeah.”
