Page 19 of Golden Valley
Chapter 7
Head tilted to the side, Ricky considered his son’s eyes as he changed his diaper. “Darker than yesterday.” They had been a deep blue when The Baby was born, but now they were definitely brown.
If he had a phone, he could take pictures and then compare them day by day to see if he was right about those eyes changing colors. But he didn’t have a job so he couldn’t pay for a phone and he refused to take anything from the Blue Mountain pack; or at least, he refused to take anything other than food and board and baby supplies and medical care, so basically, everything he needed. Even if he accepted the phone they’d offered him, the only people who would call him on it would be his parents, who believed he was away on pack business, which was what Brian had told them to protect him. Because his parents had no idea why he had left town or that he had met his mate or that he had manipulated his mate or that he had gotten pregnant as a result of said manipulation or that they were grandparents, he couldn’t ask for their help, which meant that he had nobody to turn to except Brian Berger, who Ricky resented for basically doing the very thing Ricky had asked for when he ran from his mate. He was a mess.
Irritated, he pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and wiped away wetness. “I don’t need to talk to anyone,” he said to nobody. “No reason for me to be upset about not having a phone.” Not that the lack of phone was the source of his stress. “Even if I had one for pictures, The Baby wouldn’t like the flash, so this is better.”
The Baby probably wouldn’t mind him opening the blinds and letting in some sunlight, maybe even opening the window to get fresh air into the room. His brain helpfully supplied a reminder of the last time he had opened that window to see his mate surrounded by threatening Alphas, demoralizing himself in front of them, all because of his him.
“I’m not going to throw up.” He closed his eyes and took in deep breaths as he fastened the diaper by memory. Four weeks of parenthood had given him the ability to perform this task blind, a useful skill when his eyes were swollen and burning, which was nearly all the time. Newborns were supposed to cry a lot, or so he had heard, but The Baby was quiet, other than the occasional gurgles. Ricky, on the other hand, couldn’t stop blubbering. “I’m not going to throw up and I’m not going to cry.”
“Ricky?” A light tap sounded on the bedroom door.
“I’m in here,” he announced unnecessarily. He hadn’t left the room since The Baby’s birth. He didn’t have to brush his hair or get dressed or field very carefully worded questions about how he was feeling. “I’m in here and I’m not having an anxiety attack,” he mumbled under his breath.
“Can I come in?” Simon asked.
“Of course.”
This was the Blue Mountain Alpha’s house and Simon was the Blue Mountain Alpha’s brother-in-law. They both knew Ricky didn’t have any right to keep him out, or really, any rights at all. But Simon was big on Ricky feelingempowered, whatever that meant, so he always knocked and asked permission for things and sought his opinion. It was exhausting, frankly, and Ricky would have expected another Omega to understand that, but he had come to realize that Simon didn’t appreciate the value in their roles. At least that was his assumption based on Simon’s tone when he spoke about Alphas. Well, Alphas other than his own. The man was moony when he uttered Mitchell’s name.
“How’s the baby?” Simon asked as he stepped into the room.
“Still nameless,” Ricky answered.
“It’s good you’re waiting for the perfect one instead of just picking from a list. I’m sure the right name will come to you.”
“Uh huh.” He was closing in on a month with a nameless child because of a mission to come up with the perfect name. That was what he had been doing. He had not been following tradition by waiting for his Alpha to name their child. And he definitely had not been hiding in a bedroom, feeling sorry for himself over the state of his life, and walking a line between caring for The Baby while also bursting into tears at the sight of him. “I need to clean up.” He snapped the onesie over the clean diaper and picked up The Baby.
“Sure.” Simon shifted from foot to foot. “You know, we can watch him for you anytime you want to take a nap or a walk or just have a break.”
“I’m fine.” Ricky stepped into the attached bathroom, set The Baby on the folded towel he kept on the counter, and pumped soap onto his hands. The Baby was a constant reminder of Morgan, which made it hard to be with him, but The Baby was a constant reminder of Morgan, so Ricky couldn’t be apart from him.
“Of course, you’re fine. Absolutely. Definitely.” Simon paused. “But maybe you’re a little tired and we can help.”
Turning on the cold tap, Rick said, “Sorry, can’t hear you over the water.” He thrust his hands underneath the spray, hoping the frigid temperature would cool him down. “Be done in a minute.” Or five minutes. Because the longer he stayed in the bathroom, the more likely it was that Mitchell would need Simon for something and he’d have to rush off. Ricky had latched onto that strategy when he realized that the too tall, too broad, too gruff, too serious Alpha came after Simon when he was out of his sight for any length of time. The guy was terrifying, but Simon glowed in his presence and moved toward him instead of flinching away, so Ricky had to assume he was happy with his mate.
Ricky would have been happy too, not if he was mated to the stoic, gargantuan Mitchell, but if he was with his own mate. He closed his eyes and remembered Morgan’s kind face, his gentle touch, his warm voice.
“I need to talk to you about something.”
“Ah!” Ricky jumped, not expecting Simon to be so close.
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” he said apologetically.
Taking a deep breath, Ricky turned off the water and looked toward the bathroom doorway where Simon stood.
“I, uh,” he glanced around, “I guess I’m done.” Wiping his hands on his sweatpants, he took a deep breath and then picked up The Baby.
Watching him wearily, Simon stepped back, giving Ricky space to leave the bathroom. “I have something to ask you.”
“Okay.” Ricky tried not to sound impatient, but he wanted Simon to leave so he could go back to… Well, there wasn’t anything he needed to do, but he wanted to be alone anyway.
“Do you want to sit down?” Simon tipped his chin toward the bed.
“I’m fine.” Sitting down implied a long conversation, which was the opposite of what he wanted in that he wanted no conversation, so he’d keep standing even if what he actually wanted was to burrow under the blanket with The Baby.
Sighing, Simon walked over to the window and then sat in the rocking chair that had been added to the room after The Baby was born. Forearms propped on his knees, he clasped his fingers together and looked at Ricky expectantly.
